Shameful? (“Just Violated?”)
“My dishonor is continually before me, and the shame of my face has covered me.”
Psalm 25:20
“Just” shameful.
I am “just” shameful.
What was done to you?
What choices, from another person, have made you feel ashamed of yourself?
Shame’s roots run deep.
We often take on someone else’s shame for THEIR actions.
Rape. Molestation. Incest. Abuse.
And complicating and confusing these issues, even more?
All these things can get dismissed, ignored, or further used as punishment for us.
“Do not fear, for you will not be ashamed; neither be disgraced, for you will not be put to shame; for you will forget the shame of your youth...”
Psalm 34:5
But we have a Loving Father, and an empathetic Shepherd…
“They looked to Him and were radiant, and their faces were not ashamed.”
Hebrews 12:2
Furthermore, our Savior, took all shame, took YOUR shame…
“Looking unto (Yahshua) Jesus, the Author and Finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of (The Most High) God.”
Psalm 25:3
Turn To Him now. Ask Him for His loving Help.
He wants to heal your shame, even right now.
What was it that I was born into? What was it that I endured?
What WAS I “a product of?”
Rape? Abuse? Violence?
(“Just”) Violation?
Amazon.com: (“Just”) Violated?
Stuck In a Moment? (“Just Violated?”)
Stuck In a Moment? (“Just Violated?”)
What is considered what?
More than likely, you have been stuck in a moment, a precarious, compromising moment.
What WAS that? Do you know, even years, or decades later, what that WAS?
Whatever it was, it was valid. It happened. And there’s no shame for you.
Our Elohim took that shame.
You are loved, precious, and valuable, beyond measure!
What was it that I was born into?
What was it that I endured?
What WAS I “a product of?”
Rape? Abuse? Violence?
(“Just”) Violation?
Amazon.com: (“Just”) Violated?
(“Just Violated?” Book Excerpt)…
“No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but The Most High is faithful, Who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.”
1 Corinthians 10:13
Now, I know that when we are in uncomfortable, inappropriate situations, like a the two I will be getting into soon here, we are usually, typically, not operating from a place of feeling “tempted.”
And why I bring up this scripture in 1 Corinthians, is NOT, repeat, NOT to shame or blame those of us on the “no-win” end of a scenario.
Rather, I feel this scripture speaks to assuring and helping “the victim” in getting through it as best as you can. You didn’t ask for this. You did not want things to unfold like this.
The Most High will help you. He makes a way of helping you through it, even if, all you feel is stuck, scared, and overwhelmed.
My thoughts. He will help you get though “it” whatever “it” was for you.
Entitled to…
… take liberties.
“Just” Stuck…
What do you do when you get stuck in a moment, and you cannot free yourself from it?
This is just another day in the life of being female, way too often.
Yes, I am on the soapbox.
Because stuff like this, along the lines of “rape-y” stuff like this, keeps happening.
So, on the soapbox, I will stand and recount.
There was “Me,” and the moment I was stuck in.
Not rape, per se.
But “rape-y,” nonetheless.
A day in the life of being a girl.
And I was a girl, a college girl. Naïve.
I had learned the lessons in my home about how to be a female and be disempowered and abused…
Seeking The Scattered Flock (IF You Know?)
Seeking HIS Flock (“IF You Know?”)
What does HIS Flock Look like?
Who is He seeking?
Who is counted, and who is disqualified?
There’s more going on, than meets the Eye. Ask Him questions about His Flock, and what you are to do concerning it.
“…‘Behold, I, even I, will both search my sheep, and seek them out. As a shepherd seeketh out his flock in the day that he is among his sheep that are scattered; so will I seek out my sheep, and will deliver them out of all places where they have been scattered in the cloudy and dark day… I will feed my flock, and I will cause them to lie down… I will seek that which was lost, and bring again that which was driven away, and will bind up that which was broken, and will strengthen that which was sick: but I will destroy the fat and the strong; I will feed them with judgment.’”
Ezekiel 34: 11-12; Ezekiel 34:15-16
If You Know?: Cruse, Sheryle: 9798272042019: Amazon.com: Books
For The Path Ahead…
“YHWH will fight for you⁺, and you⁺—you⁺ shall be silent.”
Exodus 14:14
Funhouse Mirrors (Thin Enough)
“Because if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, this one is like a man observing his natural face in a mirror, for he observed himself and has gone away, and immediately he forgot what kind he was.”
James 1:23-24
Summer is all about carnivals.
And a staple in many carnivals is that of the funhouse, with their funhouse mirrors.
Distortions.
We see distorted reflections when we step in front of one of them.
We do that with our self-image and our body-image.
How do we see ourselves?
How does our Creator and Loving Father see us?
That is our true image.
But we need to go to Him and His Word to see it.
Funhouse Mirrors
When I was a little girl, I once went into one of those carnival funhouses with the mirrors. It was the one and only time I did so. I remember I didn’t get very far. I took one look at my distorted series of reflected images and high-tailed it out of there so fast, you could probably see my streak marks hang in the air.
Festive.
Cut to about fourteen years later: I was nineteen or twenty years old when I was, once again, standing in front of multiple mirror images. Only this time, there was no carnival- and certainly, no fun. It was, instead, just me, choosing to stand and scrutinize myself in front of my three-way mirror, picking myself apart, via my disordered eating and body image behaviors.
It was often during those times that I would ask Elohim why He made me in the first place. What was the point? Was the torment of eating disorders all there was? Were the constant weight and food battles all there was to me? I hated what I saw so much of the time, regardless of where I was on the scale. At my thinnest, I hated what I saw; at my heaviest, I hated what I saw. Did The Most High see me the same way?
“Do you have eyes of flesh? Do you see as a mortal sees?”
Job 10:4
Yeah, I was certainly living a Job kind of existence. It’s not a “skip to my loo” kind of approach. But no, Our Father doesn’t stop at surface appearances- thankfully! He looks deeper…
“…The Most High does not see as humans see. Humans look at outward appearances, but the LORD looks into the heart."
1 Samuel 16:7
And, isn’t that one of the problems for those of us dealing with eating disorders and body image issues? The old adage states there’s no reality, only perception. So, some of us perceive ourselves to be ugly and worthless.
But is that the truth?
Scientific studies state that there is a chemical disturbance in the brain function of many who suffer from eating disorders like Anorexia and Bulimia. Simply stated, the brain wiring of these individuals prevents them from seeing their physical bodies as they actually are. Instead, they only see themselves as the distorted “funhouse mirror” version of themselves.
You know the saying, “seeing is believing?”
Well, I guess that’s what can happen if the brain can only register one particular perception, even if it’s an inaccurate one.
I believed that inaccurate perception for a long time.
And, as years have passed, I’ve also had a spiritual reawakening as well concerning my disordered eating and image issues. Eating disorders, at their core, are spiritual matters. For my own situation, I had to recognize and confront how I let my own eating disorder behavior become some form of idolatry.
Pleasant, isn’t it?
According to “The Oxford American Desk Dictionary and Thesaurus Second Edition,” the definition of idolatry reads as follows: “the worship of idols, great adulation. The image of a deity, etc., as an object of worship, the object of excessive or supreme adulation, a graven image icon, effigy, symbol, fetish, totem, god, hero or heroine, star, celebrity.”
Yeah, that covered it for me.
Whether or not I knew it, my image desires and eating disorder behaviors were idols. I thought I was in control. But, before I knew it, all of my “little idols” turned into razor-sharp funhouse torture mirrors, mocking and threatening me. I had lost sight of my one true Creator.
“I am the LORD thy YAH, which have brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. You shall have no other gods before me.”
Exodus 20:2-3
And by disobeying that very first commandment, I had opened myself up to unnecessary pain. My eating disorders were not His Will or His fault. And, while it would be all too easy to blame myself here, I had to accept the fact that I was not completely hopeless; I still could make another choice. No matter how low I went with my eating disorders, there still was a way out: The Most High.
“No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to humanity. The Most High is faithful, and He will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation He will also provide a way of escape so that you are able to bear it.”
1 Corinthians 10:13
Like that childhood experience of the funhouse mirrors, I had a choice about what I could do. I could continue to stare into the scary, inaccurate reflections, or I could leave them and shift my view elsewhere?
So, where- or more accurately, Who- is that elsewhere?
“The name of the LORD is a strong tower; a righteous person rushes to it and is lifted up above the danger.”
Proverbs 18:10
What’s your funhouse mirror? Is it an eating disorder? An addiction?
Some other self-destructive behavior? Are you choosing to stare into that hopeless, futureless and lifeless reflection or are you choosing to look for The Most High?
If the funhouse isn’t so fun, then what? What will we do? We do have a better option out there. There is a better reflection, waiting to look back at us.
And He’s there to help us...
“Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, This is the way, walk in it, whenever you turn to the right hand, and whenever turn to the left.’”
Isaiah30:21
“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go: I will guide you with My eye.”
Psalm 32:8
“The Most High is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.”
Psalms 46:1
Will we choose that reflected option?
Abba Father-
We come to You in The Name of Your Son, Yahshua. You know how we see, think, and feel about ourselves. The truth? It’s less than glorifying to you.
Thank You for believing we are valuable, beautiful, worthwhile, and reflecting Your Image. We need Your help believing, receiving, and accepting that for ourselves.
Help us to do that.
Help us to love You. You know we also have a hard time giving and accepting love.
Forgive us for our idolatry. Forgive us for not turning to and trusting You. We repent, by faith, of that now.
Help us to heal and see ourselves the way You.
Thank You,
In the Name of Yahshua, we seal it.
Amen.
Copyright © 2026 by Sheryle Cruse
Option Or Priority?
“Priority…”
“superiority in rank, position, or privilege”
“Option…”
“the power or right to choose: freedom of choice”
I don’t know who said this, but the statement reverberates within each one of us, in some way…
“Don’t make someone a priority who makes you an option.”
In your life, right now, what is your experiential, circumstantial status?
Are you an option?
Or are you a priority?
Does it change, from person to person?
Or is it a consistent, seemingly, never-changing reality, no matter who is involved in a relationship with you?
These two concepts have one thing in common: they involve choice.
And choice is a spiritual concept.
Choose…
Choose this day whom you will serve.
“And if it seems evil in your? eyes to serve YHWH, choose for yourselves this day whom you? will serve, whether the gods that your? fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorite, in whose land you? are dwelling. And I and my house, we will serve YHWH!”
Joshua 24:15
Choose Life.
“I call as witnesses against you? today the heavens and the earth that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing. Therefore choose life, that you may live—you and your seed.”
Deuteronomy 30:19
From the start, choice is a fact of life. The Most High chose billions of decisions, about us, about His Creation, the world, matters of justice, love, and His Divine Will.
Past of those choices, of course, is that of His Son, Our Savior, Who was given the mission to save mankind, because we could not save ourselves from our sins (John 3:16).
And yes, He chooses to give us choice, “free will,” the ability to decide any number of issues and… options.
Options. That word can be highly triggering for so many of us.
And it can start so early, often in our childhood experiences.
Picked Last for teams.
“These also are sayings of the wise:
To show partiality in judgment
is not good.”
Proverbs 24:23
One of the original childhood traumas: picking teams.
When I was a child, I was not good at physical education class. Plus, I was overweight.
Therefore, that made me less than desirable for team sports.
I really hated team sports: softball, volleyball, and basketball.
All the “balls.”
I gained an unfortunate reputation as not being good at these sports.
Therefore, I was not wanted.
It was sheer torture as the teacher/coach made all the kids line up, having usually designated two “captains” to “pick teams.”
Of course, the most athletic, agile, and coordinated were chosen first. They were usually already in official sports, like being on the official Varsity school teams. They had the reputation, the popularity, and the acclaim as being stars and legends.
As the picking continued, there would be less enthusiasm as “the mediocre” candidates were chosen. This was usually when we would hear the captains say a lot of “Uh’s” and “Umm’s,” meaning that there was more thought about what mediocre players they could live with on their teams.
They weren’t thrilled, but they knew they had to choose.
And then, the lineup of kids would seriously dwindle.
Eventually, it would come down to another kid, usually someone overweight or slight in stature… and me.
I watched many a captain’s face of contempt, even disgust, as they looked at me. They chose the other candidate.
I was always picked last.
Always.
They were not happy having me onboard. But no one, no captain, kid, or me, had the option of “opting out.”
I had to play.
They had to deal with the unwanted reality.
So, with the teams assembled, we would proceed to “play ball.”
And it was miserable for me. I was yelled at, shot dirty looks, and heard sighs of frustration as I dropped the ball, failed at the forced physical education exercise that lasted far too long for my dignity to stay intact.
I learned the lessons and “the rules.”
I learned that results were what was prized.
Those Golden, Athletic Children, therefore, who could execute those results were the priority. They were “Chosen.”
Others, like me, were reduced to the unpopular “Option,” that of “take or leave.”
Usually, they preferred “to leave.”
Does this sound too familiar to you?
It was gutting to learn these childhood lessons. We were regularly taught this was how the world worked.
Yet, as children, we often didn’t have the knowledge of Proverbs 24:23, let alone, the bandwidth to understand, and coping skills for how to handle it.
And then, we grew up.
Maybe, as kids, we believed things would get easier.
Well…
Adulthood- Not Much Has Changed.
We still are subject to choice.
It may no longer show up as the humiliation of “picking teams” from our childhood days, but it still is quite real, affecting our lives, our quality of life.
“These also are sayings of the wise:
To show partiality in judgment
is not good.”
Proverbs 24:23
This partiality, unfortunately, does not end once we leave school. We carry our childhood lessons and identities into adulthood.
It now shows up in…
Romantic, marital, interpersonal relationships…
Career issues…
Even Faith Challenges…
“These also are sayings of the wise:
To show partiality in judgment
is not good.”
Proverbs 24:23
“Look around now,
These are the days of the beggars and the choosers,”
“Praying For Time,” George Michael
This is a beautiful song, but tough to listen to. Listener advisory. Just saying.
Minimized.
Overlooked.
Beggars and The Choosers.
How do you feel about that, in your own circumstances?
Are you a “Beggar?”
Are you a “Chooser?”
How hopeless do you feel about your life?
There is hope, however.
The Most High’s thoughts and ways are not like ours (Isaiah 55:10).
And part of His ways?
“…‘I now realize how true it is that The Most High does not show favoritism.’”
Acts 10:34
He has no preferential treatment in His Love for us. He is the Ultimate display of “Unconditional love.”
After all, again, the entire point, highlighted in the famous scripture, John 3:16…
He SO LOVED…
He GAVE…
HIS Only Son…
So that we could be saved…
There’s no hierarchy of human value TO that.
He wants ALL OF US!
“Elohim is not slow in the promise, as some esteem slowness, but is patient toward you?, not wishing for any to perish, but all to receive a place for repentance.”
2 Peter 3:9
Old Testament dictates further that love…
“I have chosen you and have not cast you away.”
Isaiah 41:9
That runs so contrary to so much of what we experience, trying to be “a priority,” but only living that of an “option,” potentially, more easily, and quickly, discarded, after varying degrees of mistreatment, abuse, and neglect.
No matter who and where you and I may find ourselves, struggling with the unique pain of being that undesirable “option,” our Loving Father, And our Loving Shepherd/Savior actively, enthusiastically, faithfully, and consistently choose us.
Let’s pray.
ABBA Father-
We come to You, in The Name of Our Savior, Your Son, Yahshua.
You know how we have been rejected, abandoned, overlooked, and minimized.
You know how that has wounded us.
Our needs were not met; and we were often mistreated.
You know exactly what has happened to us.
Forgive us for the unforgiveness and bitterness that we have held against them.
Help us to fully forgive and heal.
Help us to learn what it means to be loved and chosen by You.
Thank You that You do, indeed, choose and love us.
We are not dismissed as a mere “option.”
We are a unique priority in Your Loving Heart and in Your Thoughts of us.
We turn to You, for every bit of Your Love, Help, and Healing, as we have been hurt from being “passed over.”
Thank You that You see and know all.
Thank You that You are moving in our lives right now.
We receive it, now, by faith.
In The Name of Yahshua, we pray.
Amen.
Copyright © 2026 by Sheryle Cruse
More To Anger (“Hello, Gentlemen…”)
It’s not a surprise that anger is a large issue for the male inmate population. How many crimes, were done, out of violent anger?
Yet there is more TO the anger, if we dare to look at it.
And we will find more in common with “the prisoners” than we realize.
How are you imprisoned by anger right now?
“Remember those in prison as if you were bound with them, and those who are mistreated as if you were suffering with them.”
Hebrews 13:3
Amazon.com: "Hello Gentlemen...": 9798259016163: Cruse, Sheryle: Books
(“Hello, Gentlemen…” Book Excerpt)…
Hello, Gentlemen.
It’s me again. Sheryle.
How frustrated are you right now?
It’s a big challenge for me. I was just wondering what it’s like for you.
Frustration in a part of anger.
It deals with being denied something when you want it.
It deals with the resentment that comes by seeing others seemingly possess what you want.
It deals with the injustice you face currently and have faced in the past.
And you have faced injustices. Plural. More than one. Often.
Probably, too often…
Test and Talk To Him About His Name (“IF You Know?”)
“Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits, whether they are of YHWH, because many false prophets have gone out into the world.”
1 John 4:1
Don’t just take my word for it, about HIS Name. Test it. Study it… for yourself.
Take Y-H-W-H TO The Father. What does He tell you?
Take Proverbs 30:4 TO The Father. What does He tell you?
“…What is Your Name, and what is Your Son’s Name, if you know?”
Proverbs 30:4
If You Know?: Cruse, Sheryle: 9798272042019: Amazon.com: Books
Freeze! (“Hello, Gentlemen…”)
Freeze! (“Hello, Gentlemen…”)
“But his wife looked back behind him, and she became a pillar of salt.”
Genesis 19:26
“Freeze” is another trauma response. And it does impact those incarcerated.
Someone is “freezing” right now within prison walls.
Someone had to freeze, “back then,” in the life circumstances they endured.
“They” still have humanity.
“HE” still loves them.
“And answering, the King will say to them, ‘Truly I say to you, inasmuch as you? Did it to one of the least of these brothers of Mine, you did it to Me.’”
Matthew 25:40
“Remember those in prison as if you were bound with them, and those who are mistreated as if you were suffering with them.”
Hebrews 13:3
“Freeze!” (Hello, Gentlemen…” Book Excerpt)
Hello, Gentlemen.
It’s me again. Sheryle.
As you may or may not know about me, I am filled with all kinds of issues and trauma experiences. And, being on this planet, I have had to watch life play out in confusing and distressing ways.
Just like you have. Our life events may be different, but trauma is something you and I still share, even if we come from “different worlds.”
Let’s talk about Freezing.
Not the “Freeze” a cop may have yelled at you.
Not the “freeze” of being cold. It’s not about temperature.
It’s another trauma response. You may have heard or read what I had to say about trauma responses: fight, flight, fawn, and the freeze response I want to share a little about it with you now.
But first?
Keep this scripture tucked away in your brain. We will circle back to it later.
“But his wife looked back behind him, and she became a pillar of salt.”
Genesis 19:26
The Amygdala is an almond-shaped body part, found within our brains. We have one on each side, at our temples, sitting level to our eyes. The Amygdala is responsible for being a sensory warning system, scanning for and detecting threats and danger. It relies heavily on the memories from past experiences, for informing us of any current situation we are living in, in the here and now. This warning system, for EXTRA FUN, is also heavily influenced by the heightened emotions that can be attached to “danger” or to “threat.”
Let me tell you some of my fun Amygdala experiences.
As an overweight, awkward, abused kid, I was often the target of bullies.
I had a “kick me” sign on me. Kids just knew they could mess with me. Single me out.
This was long before social media and cyber bullying. I’m fairly certain that, if I had to contend with that, I probably would have tried to kill myself, to escape that kind of torture.
But the “old school” bullying was quite effective in creating a scared person who was skilled at freezing, just to avoid further hell and confrontations.
Some of it was a desperate, not entirely effective way of “blending,” of “camouflage.” And some of it was the emotional, mental, and physical paralysis of locking up, not knowing what to do.
So, I froze.
School was hell for me. I was messed with, in one way or another, by at least six bullies, both genders. (Yeah, “the mean girls” were also fun). I just tried to keep my head down, focusing on getting out of a miserable situation, year by year.
My Amygdala was on constant “high alert,” always scanning for danger.
Constant experiences and memories of the latest person who wanted “to mess with me.”
Constant experiences, translated into messages, that said I was always in danger.
And it wasn’t just the school bullies. I was also abused at home.
So, no place was safe. Nobody was safe.
Can you relate? How safe were you, “back then?”
How safe do you feel “now?”…
Copyright © 2026 by Sheryle Cruse
Amazon.com: "Hello Gentlemen...": 9798259016163: Cruse, Sheryle: Books
What is His Name? (“IF You Know?”)
“…What is Your Name, and what is Your Son’s Name, if you know?”
Proverbs 30:4
If You Know?: Cruse, Sheryle: 9798272042019: Amazon.com: Books
