Predator (“Hello, Gentlemen…”
“Remember those in prison as if you were bound with them, and those who are mistreated as if you were suffering with them.”
Hebrews 13:3
Amazon.com: "Hello Gentlemen...": 9798259016163: Cruse, Sheryle: Books
(The Twenty-Fourth Letter: Predator (“Hello, Gentlemen…” Book Excerpt)
…Hello, Gentlemen.
It’s me, Sheryle.
Are you a predator?
Is that why you are “in here?”
How cruel and violent are you?
Any of this ring a bell?
“There are six things Elohim hates, seven that are detestable to Him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a person who stirs up conflict in the community.”
Proverbs 6:16-19
Now, hang in there with me. I’m not about to lecture you. I do not judge you. I’m in no place to do that.
Let’s talk about what you and I are capable of.
Being a predator.
You and I have that within us.
Scripture lays it out there about how “wicked” we are…
“The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is?”
Jeremiah 17:9
You don’t need to have committed violent, cruel acts to be considered wicked.
We ALL sin.
We all “fall short of the glory” (Romans 3:23).
How did you fall, especially to get you “in here?”
Because it is eating away at you, isn’t it?
Were you “a predator?”
Did you “cause harm?”
“Do not plot harm against your neighbor, who lives trustfully near you.”
Proverbs 3:29
Were you a bully, an abuser, a rapist, a killer?
Yeah, your crimes, your actions, may have put you in this place.
But it is NOT who you are. Someone Else views you differently.
Let’s break this down a bit.
No one starts out as a Predator.
That includes you.
Every person has a beginning point, setting things up for the eventual decisions they may make in life.
Again, that includes you…
Copyright © 2026 by Sheryle Cruse
Proverbs 25 Verse 2 Applies To You!
“It is the Glory of The Most High to conceal a thing: but the honor of kings is to search out a matter.”
Proverbs 25:2
There’s MORE!
The Most High is concealing it. It’s for you and I to search it out.
What IS That?
More Graduations Than We Realize
Pomp and Circumstance Message
Dear Gentlemen Graduates,
Congratulations!
You are graduating, and not just from “a class.”
Me again, Sheryle. Hiya!
I couldn’t pass up this opportunity, hopefully blessed by The Most High, to convey my pride and to celebrate each one of you.
You deserve honor.
I don’t know how many of you have walked through a high school or a college graduation.
Cap and gown. The famous music, “Pomp and Circumstance” playing.
This graduation is not as it seems.
Its “Pomp” is different; its “Circumstance” is also different.
Do you feel it?
I believe it will be a short matter of time before you do.
The definition of “Pomp” includes…
“a show of magnificence: splendor.”
That would be you today. You resemble your Heavenly Father. And He has a lot of magnificence and splendor to Him.
He made sure that you would know it today. Part of how He accomplishes that?
The cap of the “cap and gown.”
Now I know, you don’t see a cap; you aren’t wearing that square mortar board hat, with the swinging tassel hanging from it.
He dresses you better than that for your graduation today.
Try this on…
“You shall also be a crown of glory In the hand of (Elohim) the LORD, And a royal diadem In the hand of (The Most High) your God.”
Isaiah 62:3
What in tarnation is a diadem? I had to look it up.
Answer?
“a jeweled crown or headband worn as a symbol of sovereignty.”
Well, now, there ya go. Better than wearing a square on your head, huh?
In keeping with this diadem theme…
“For You meet him with the blessings of goodness; You set a crown of pure gold upon his head. He asked for life from You, You gave it to him, Length of days forever and ever. His glory is great through Your salvation, Splendor and majesty You place upon him. For You make him most blessed forever; You make him joyful with the joy of Your presence.”
Psalm 21:3-6
That’s what you are getting from Him today, Gentlemen.
Therefore, enjoy the “Pomp.”
Now, what about “Circumstance?”
Its definition…
“a fact or condition connected with or relevant to an event or action. Situation. The ‘set-up.’”
Familiar with any of THAT in your life?
What have been the main circumstances discouraging you today, right now, even during this ceremony?
Maybe you are feeling a bit like the Prodigal today. Now, I know that you have probably heard a lot about The Prodigal Son.
Luke 15:11-32
It’s frequently mentioned, not only in Christendom, but also in pop culture.
You get the gist. A guy who royally blows it, squanders his inheritance, sinks to the worst of lows, and gets the brilliant idea to turn around and go back to his rich Daddy. But, because he knows the score “of his circumstances,” heavily “pork-and-rind-centric,” he is willing to reduce his standing as son/and heir and just be of lowly “barely- fit- to- live” status.
“‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’”
Luke 15:17-19
He probably even thought that he would be rejected, mocked, maybe beaten, and maybe even killed. He thought the worst “of his circumstance.”
And look what Daddy did…
“But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring out the best robe and put it on him...’”
Luke 15:22
You see, you aren’t wearing a gown for your graduation today.
That is not good enough in YOUR FATHER’S eyes.
A gown would clash with your crown.
Yep, to go with your Diadem, your crown… a ROBE.
A royal robe.
But we are not done yet…
“…and put a ring on his hand...’”
A ring signifies Authority.
“And (Yahshua) Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, ‘All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth.’”
Matthew 28:18
A new level of authority. You are resembling Him with that today.
He gives you HIS Authority.
And there’s something else…
Your feet.
“‘…and sandals on his feet.’”
You are going somewhere new, somewhere better, IN Him.
Fellow Gentlemen Graduates,
You are going “from glory to glory” (2 Corinthians 3:18).
Your beginning steps that you have taken, including steps taken today, will pale in comparison to how you leave this honoring ceremony.
You have levelled up.
New Glory. Bask in it.
I am so proud of you. Look how far you have come! Look at EVERYTHING you have survived!
He is pleased with you. You could have made other choices that would not have brought you here.
But you decided to be here.
That is magnificent! That is splendor!
A chip off the old “Diademed, Glorious One” Block!
Congrats, Gentlemen Grads!
I love you all!
Your Sister, In Him.
Sheryle
(Who is snapping many photos in the spirit of you right now. They’ll go in His Scrapbook).
Copyright © 2026 by Sheryle Cruse
(“Just”) Violated?
(Just Published…)
What was it that I was born into? What was it that I endured?
What WAS I “a product of?”
Rape? Abuse? Violence?
(“Just”) Violation?
“Duck-Bergs”
I am, yes, a big believer in the power of things being established by two or three witnesses.
“…‘Every matter must be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’”
2 Corinthians 13:1
They don’t need to be people; they can be “occurrences.”
Things that “coincidentally” pop up two, three, four, or more times. Maybe, it can feel like we are being “followed” by them.
Years ago, in a standup- routine, the comedian, Dennis Miller mentioned how we, as people, are like ducks.
We all look calm on the surface of the water.
But underneath?
We are paddling like crazy.
That stand-up routine, I believe, was in the 1990s. Yet, it is evergreen.
Within the last two months, I came across this nugget online…
Icebergs.
“Duck Bergs?”
My first book, “Thin Enough,” was published twenty years ago.
And, since that time, I have written other books, articles, and blog posts, not just on the subject matter of eating disorders.
Life, as it does for each one of us, necessitates that we deal with more than one thing in life.
We must examine and commit to the deeper than surface level things that hit our lives.
Death and loss.
Changes to our health and bodies.
Addiction
Relationship changes.
Changes in our personal faith with The Most High.
“There is nothing new under the sun.”
Ecclesiastes 1:9
I have checked each of these boxes. It’s the rule, not the exception to do, within a twenty-year span of time.
Certainly, a lifetime.
Twenty years ago, I never believed that I would be writing these books on the subject matter I have covered.
But life twisted and turned.
Life demanded that I “paddle like crazy.”
I have no idea how much of a calm duck I looked like on the surface.
Life goes beyond surface. Surface doesn’t last long.
Our attention will be grabbed.
There has ben rewarding “Glory” in each writing endeavor.
Even when the issue has been painful and difficult.
“It is the Glory of The Most High to conceal a thing: but the honor of kings is to search out a matter.”
Proverbs 25:2
It’s now poignant, as I may be dealing with still more health challenges, including those “cancer-related.”
I don’t think I am done writing; let’s put it that way.
What about you?
What is challenging you, right now, to present that you are calm on the surface, yet “paddlinglike crazy” underneath?
How do you appear“on the surface?”
What’s stopping you from dealing with your “paddling like crazy” issues?
How have you asked The Most High to help you WITH them?
There’s more going on, to and with, you.
And The Most High wants to help you with ALL of it!
Copyright © 2026 by Sheryle Cruse
Improperly Dressed? The Armor of The Most High…
Years ago, while in a prayer group, a woman approached me, with “A Word” for me.
This was big, powerful, attention-getting, within faith communities.
To hear from The Most High?
Yeah, a lot of us know that we should pay attention, right?
Right, supposedly…
So, what was “This Word?”
“He has been speaking to me, and He wants you to know that you are not dressed properly.”
What?
What did she mean?
I had my “church outfits.” Dresses. Blouses and skirts. Suits. “Conservative.”
It wasn’t like I was flashing anyone, wearing tight clothes, revealing attire that screamed, “Come hither.”
I knew enough to look “presentable.”
Marilyn Monroe, an unlikely female source, giving image advice to women in a church setting, is famously reported, as saying…
“Your clothes should be tight enough to show you’re a woman, but loose enough to show you’re a lady.”
A lot of wisdom there.
Like I said, I thought I had a handle on it. I thought that I knew how to dress.
So, my mind is racing with overthinking, anxiety, questions, and doubt.
And she then continues “this Word,” further clarifying things…
“You need to put on the Full Armor of God.”
O-Kaaaay. I get it now.
I politely listened to her, nodding with sincerity.
And then, I proceeded to blow it off for, oh, the next… twenty years?
Yeah. I know.
Now, keep in mind, that I held scriptures as powerful, relevant, and personally applied.
After all, Isaiah 55:10-11 declares…
“As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is My Word that goes out from My Mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.”
Yeah, so, “This Word” was powerful, timely, tailored to me.
So, why did I “blow it off?”
Well, here’s something embarrassing, filled with pride, arrogance, and stupidity- YAY!
Get ready, Everybody!
I believed that it wasn’t necessary for me to heed and employ. I believed that I was “okie dokie” without it being applied to my life.
(I NEVER SAID THIS WAS A GREAT CHOICE I MADE HERE!)
So, YEARS went by. I dressed and went to church. I looked appropriate. I “put myself together” with accessories, matching purses with shoes. I color coordinated outfits. I “dressed for life.”
Nope, did not. REALLY missed that dressing mark.
And year after year went by. I was familiar with that scripture, “The Full Armor of God,” on the surface. It was from the attitude of “Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know that’s in there. Good point. I don’t need to read it…”
(I NEVER SAID THIS WAS A GREAT CHOICE I MADE HERE!)
Years went by. I was bumping into things, life-wise. I was not setting so much of my life on fire.
I was muddling through.
And that ancient scripture still existed, just hanging out.
Still ignored. Dismissed. “Blown off.”
But this could not go on indefinitely like this.
Life had its way of happening.
The entire time, I kept my faith, as much as it may have lacked some powerful teeth.
Yeah, I read the Bible. I went to church. I prayed.
And I still did not connect the dots about “the Armor of God” for myself.
And then, MANY years later, I had a period of discomfort, “Divine Discontent.”
Something was missing; something was “off.”
And, as I’m having some assorted kind of crisis, it dawns on me…
“The Armor of God:” am I doing anything WITH that?
Answer?
NOPE!
So, I got a little curious about the scripture.
Maybe, more accurately?
I was “patronizing” it, condescending, as I still held some kind of “take it or leave it” attitude concerning it.
And, for you and me, that’s not an unheard-of concept.
We can treat powerful, reliable, relevant, wise advice, as “optional.”
Yeah, maybe “optional,” in the sense that we “opt out” of wisdom and positive life change.
No pressure, right?
So, before we completely flog ourselves for being human beings, flaky, clueless, and arrogant, let’s just check out what this passage has to say for itself.
Okay, here goes.
“Finally, be strong in Elohim and in His mighty power.”
Verse 10
A position we take: strong. There is strength to doing this.
“Put on the full armor of The Most High, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.”
Verse 11
“Put on.”
“Dress.”
Like getting dressed, in any ordinary situation, we need to, intentionally, “put on clothes.”
They don’t put themselves on, by themselves. We choose what we wear.
Why do we wear clothes?
Well, for one thing, it keeps us from getting arrested for “indecent exposure.”
On a larger scale, there is protection from “what’s out there,” stuff we are vulnerable to experiencing if we are “naked,” literally or figuratively.
So, why, “the Armor of God?”
(Ephesians 6:10-18)
“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
Therefore put on the full armor of The Most High, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.”
Verses 12-13
Okay, we get it. We need to “be dressed for life,” and “the battle” that comes WITH that life.
So, what IS that “Outfit?”
The Belt…
“Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist…”
Verse 14
Belt. Belt Buckle. Core. Center. Grounded. Truth.
“Tell the Truth.”
Groundbreaking. Who knew, right?
That’s the starting point. The foundation. Standing secure, “belted in.”
Spiritual seatbelt?
Yep, we start there.
The Breastplate…
“… with the breastplate of righteousness in place...”
Verse 14
Literal armor. Kevlar, a spiritual bulletproof vest, protecting our most vulnerable body part, our hearts.
Righteousness NEEDS to protect the heart.
The Shoes on Our Feet…
“and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the Gospel of peace.”
Verse 15
Please feel free to take some personal experience wisdom from me on the “shoe-sie” front.
As a kid, on the farm, I went barefoot a lot.
Nature can be wonderful… until it isn’t.
One spring day, barefoot, I unknowingly stepped on a bee.
And then, REALLY quickly,I “knew.”
Pain!
Uh-huh, wear some shoes already.
But not just any shoes.
Footwear of readiness. Being ready to go, protected from things that can sting us. Shoes are a barrier of “stepping in it,” however you want to define that “it.”
Scripture, again, relevant and powerful (Isaiah 55:11), has peace attached TO it…
“…the readiness that comes from the Gospel of peace.”
What else? Because there’s more…
The Shield…
“In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.”
Verse 16
Shield of Faith. Unseen confidence.
Again, life will be “life-ing.”
Arrows come. Warfare comes.
We need the boundary enforced that states, “this will not penetrate my being.”
We need a shield standing in between harmful arguments, meaning us destruction, and our lives being hit.
But we are still not done.
The Helmet…
“Take the helmet of Salvation…”
Verse 17
Our minds.
Yeah, we don’t want that up for grabs.
Just like, in winter, when we were kids, hearing our mothers say, “Put a hat on.”
We need to cover our noggins. Protect our thinking. There are many wacky, wrong, and again, destructive things that we can have come against us.
And finally, completing our “outfit…”
The Sword…
“… and the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of The Most High.”
Verse 17
The Word of YAHWEH.
Elohim.
The Most High. Our Heavenly Father.
The Creator of EVERYTHING!
Yeah,Him!
It might be helpful to learn, know, say, employ, and apply what He says.
Again,Isaiah 55:11…
“so is My Word that goes out from My Mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.”
So, with “putting on” the “Full Armor,” are we all set and ready?
Not quite.
There’s still something we need to do…
“And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all Elohim’s people.”
Verse 18
Pray.
Prayer. We must do something WITH our attire.
Prayer changes things. It changes our lives, and the lives of others.
“Dress For Success,” then?
How are you dressed right now?
What do you think of this Scripture, this Armor?
Are you dressed properly?
Don’t do what I did, ignoring this passage for years.
It works for you if you get dressed WITH it.
Be dressed.
And see what happens!
Copyright © 2026 by Sheryle Cruse
“IF?” (“IF You Know?”)
One little word?
“IF?”
“…What is His Name, and what is His Son’s Name, if you know?”
Proverbs 30:4
Scripture declares that His Word accomplishes what it was sent to do.
“So is My Word that goes out from My Mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.”
Isaiah 55:11
So, how does that apply to “IF?”
It’s tucked away in Proverbs. It’s there for a reason, right?
What IS that?
“It is the Glory of The Most High to conceal a thing: but the honor of kings is to search out a matter.”
Proverbs 25:2
If You Know?: Cruse, Sheryle: 9798272042019: Amazon.com: Books
(“IF You Know?” Book Excerpt)
That’s a large part of this exploration. Learning and unlearning, taking on certain things. Dismantling, perhaps, other “facts,” “beliefs,” or even “truths?”
ARE they Truths?
So, with all that being said…
“…what is His Name, and what is His Son’s Name, if you know?”
Proverbs 30:4
That one tiny word: “If.”
If you know.
If I know.
I didn’t know who I was.
And that meant asking His Name.
“But unto you that fear My Name shall the Sun of righteousness arise with healing in His wings; and ye shall go forth and grow up as calves of the stall.”
Malachi 4:2
So, I started adding those two questions to the piles of questions I had about myself.
“What is His Name?
What is His Son’s Name
IF
You know?”
Proverbs 30:4
So, let’s get, uh, started? We really need to kick it off with prayer here. Let’s pray.
ABBA FATHER-
I come to You, in The Name of Your Son, Our Savior, Yahshua.
I stand in the gap with anyone reading these words, that You would be in complete command of them, and what they mean for my brother and sister.
You know what You have called Your Word to accomplish (Isaiah 55:11).
You know that we are finite beings, and have failed You: in heart, in motives, in understanding, in struggles, in identity, in wisdom, in ability.
Forgive us for not seeking You, seeking to know Who You are.
Help Us, ABBA, to see, to seek, and to Know You, “in Spirit and in Truth.” (John 4:24).
Let there be no discord, division, confusion, or harm, brought by the questions, concepts, and the scriptures we explore (we are to search daily Your scriptures, according to Acts 17:11).
Establish only Your True Identity, Clarity, Confirmation, Revelation, Love, Peace, Joy, Forgiveness, and Freedom.
We endeavor to know more about ourselves and our mysteries.
But we yearn to know Who YOU are to each of us.
Establish that now.
Purify, lead, guide, heal, help, protect, save, and empower us in this discovery process.
Only help us to draw us closer to You.
Draw closer to each of us, with each unanswered question in our hearts and spirits.
May this process we engage in truly glorify You.
We thank You for all You are doing.
We declare it finished and sealed.
In the Name of Your Son, Yahshua,
Amen.
“Teach me thy way… I will walk in Thy Truth: unite my heart to fear Thy Name.”
Psalm 86:11
A Reason For Every Food? (Thin Enough Book Excerpt)
You know the saying, “Misery loves company?” Well, misery loves food, too. I was hurt, rejected, miserable, but unaware of it. I knew that I wanted love, but when I reached out, food was always there instead. When “quality time” with my parents wasn’t there, food was never too busy. When hugs, kisses, affection, and compliments weren’t there, food was close by. Candy, chocolate, cookies, and ice cream were there to sweeten my lonely tears. Pot pies, mashed potatoes, hamburgers and fries were there to nurture and warm me whenever I felt a cold, distant rejection. Pretzels, potato chips, and anything salty or crunchy provided welcome relief from frustration. I could just crunch it away. I had a food for every reason and a reason for every food. Comfort food—that’s what it was all about. Who needed a mother, father, other people, or God? They only disappoint and hurt you. I had food. And so, I ate.
“In a study by Laliberte, Boland, and Leichner (1999), these three factors represented the hypothesized family climate for eating disorders: perceptions of the family’s concern for weight and shape, perceptions of the families concern for social appearances, and perceptions of the family’s emphasis on achievement. The combination of appearance and achievement variables identified in this research describes the perfect family—a family that places great emphasis on appearance, family reputation, family identity, and achievement.”
—Suzie Csorna, Familial Relationships and Bulimia
Question: Does food make you feel happy and calm?
Prey (“Hello, Gentlemen…”)
You’ve heard the prison jokes about Karma, “dropping the soap.”
You have heard about all the “serves ‘em right” assessments.
“Them.”
Prison inmates.
“Getting what’s coming to them.”
Yet…Yet…Yet…
They are still loved, “Beloved,” by Him, in fact.
The Most High…
“I have loved you with an everlasting love;
therefore I have drawn you with loving devotion.”
Jeremiah 31:3
Even now, as, right now, some of them are in pain, in fear, being hurt, “getting what’s coming to them?”
Even while we may joke about them being “prey?”
He still loves them and He wishes we would also.
“Remember those in prison as if you were bound with them, and those who are mistreated as if you were suffering with them.”
Hebrews 13:3
Amazon.com: "Hello Gentlemen...": 9798259016163: Cruse, Sheryle: Books
A Lady AND an Actress?
Famous actress and drama coach, Stella Adler, once quipped this.
“Darling, you can’t be a lady and an actress.”
Indeed, the world of theatre has a reputation for not having the most dignified of behavior.
It’s been widely discussed that healthy people really don’t seek to become actors. There tends to be something “off” about those “theatre people.”
As a theatre rat, I’ve had many years to contemplate how my trauma responses and “my issues” have played into my- uh- dramatic self.
My stage debut, at the age of nine, was that of playing the Lead Babydoll in a Christmas play, set in “Ye Old Doll & Toy Shoppe.”
I have the documentation to prove it.
I remember that was where the acting bug first bit me.
In my third-grade classroom “audition.” I remember how, when I read for the role, as each girl took their turn reading, I knew, instinctively (The Most High’s leading, I’m now quite sure, years later), that I needed to use my “baby voice.” I read the lines, including, “Let’s visit the Baby Jesus doll in the tiny little crib,” squeaking with that voice. And my music teacher, in charge of casting the play, started laughing, acting surprisingly animated for rural Minnesota. (But, then again, she herself, was from California, land of Hollywood, so…).
To use “theatre speak,” I “nailed” the audition; I got the role.
And here we go. My issues, being dramatically expressed through theatre.
So, as my childhood and adolescence bumped along, I became quite the little thespian. Between 4-H plays (rolled out, during a spring event called “Share the Fun”), and my elementary and high school career, I was in multiple plays and musicals.
And it was here where I started learning to vent my ugly, unacceptable emotions, like anger and despair, in these settings.
I came from childhood abuse, where the only acceptable “emotion” was “Everything is fine,” unless, of course, my abuser wanted an upset reaction from me to gratify his and her need to “get a rise out of me.”
Then, I better be anxious, upset, lashing out, frustrated, and unhappy.
But certainly, my own independently expressed emotions of anger, sadness, despair, and yeah, even joy, were forbidden. They didn’t fit neatly into the box, called “Children should be seen and not heard.”
It shouldn’t shock people, then, to know I pursued a theatre degree in college. I will admit that some of my reasons involved less necessity for math courses, going down this avenue (I hated math).
But I loved acting.
I won awards, scholarships, and was told by others that I was “good at it.” Especially, at being able to make people cry with my “dramatic self” reactions.
Spurred on by this, like any Drama Queen out there, I pushed things more.
To quote Shakespeare, yeah, there were times when I tore “a passion to tatters, to very rags” (“The Player’s Speech,” Hamlet Act III, Scene 2).
I cringe at an unsuccessful college soap opera attempt. I played a distraught mother, sobbing at the deathbed of her son, as the Radio/TV Majors filmed it with their cameras for class.
I hope the tape has been destroyed. It was not pretty.
I often think, now, years later, about the role that pain, abuse, and trauma played within my dramatic self, and its expression. And it’s additionally complicated, when my faith is added TO that picture.
As a child, I did have faith in “Jesus.”
I was a child Christian, simple in belief, not critically thinking about much more than what I learned from sporadic Vacation Bible School attendance, mixed with the harsh reality of how to stay safe in my abusive home.
College and young adulthood had me testing more limits, which affected other ways I expressed myself: writing and the visual arts.
Oh, yeah, I “experimented.”
Nothing “full-frontal” on my end, like those who were cast in “Hair.”
The closest I came? Nude figure drawing in the drawing class I took in college. Drawing the human form, after all.
But I now see how the trauma I experienced influenced how I chose to show up… and either use discretion, or simply just beg for attention.
In more recent years, we call the attention-seeking “thirst traps.”
“Being thirsty.”
These phrases, in the lexicon, are probably out of date now, but you get the point.
It can be argued that “TMI”IS a trauma response.
Oversharing.
Trauma dumping.
And, in my writing, be it books, articles, or blog entries, I have shared and dumped a lot.
I pray that it is not “tearing a passion to tatters, to very rags.”
I pray that it helps.
It helps me, “getting it out of my system.”
Is that only selfish?
I hope not.
I am not fishing for appearance compliments as I mention the following scripture:
“Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion.”
Proverbs 11:22
Eating disorders, breast cancer, abuse, a lot of ugly, unflattering situations, issues, and behaviors.
I hope there’s not a pig’s snout, nor a gold ring attached TO them.
I hope that what I write honors The Most High.
It may be dramatic, but it’s not “acting.”
I am sincere. There’s still that childlike “Babydoll” in my faith somewhere.
I hope it comes through.
And I hope it helps someone else out there.
Copyright © 2026 by Sheryle Cruse
Cinnamon Roll (“Hello, Gentlemen…”)
It’s not surprising that abuse is a reason why people can end up incarcerated.
Abuse is about harmful interaction/touch.
Abuse is about harmful absence of loving touch/neglect.
Most of us were not targeted with healthy love; let’s be real.
We were not at the center of that cinnamon roll.
So, go a little easier, perhaps, when you think of “them.”
The “Untouchables.”
They are not.
They are loved and valued BY The Most High.
“Remember those in prison as if you were bound with them, and those who are mistreated as if you were suffering with them.”
Hebrews 13:3
Amazon.com: "Hello Gentlemen...": 9798259016163: Cruse, Sheryle: Books
Cinnamon Roll
“But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to sin, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were drowned in the depth of the sea.”
Matthew 18:6
When I was a Girl Scout, one of the activities we engaged in was something called “The Cinnamon Roll.”
In today’s language, I suppose, it could be considered “team building” or “morale boosting.”
My Girl Scout troop would designate one girl to be “the center” of “The Cinnamon Roll.”
“She” would stand and clasp hands with another Girl Scout, who would grab another’s hand, on and on, until the entire troop, holding hands, stretched out the length of the room.
Then, the last girl would start “The Cinnamon Roll…” rolling.
She would move in on “the center” girl, and all subsequent scouts, holding hands, would gradually coil themselves around her.
The activity was not “complete” until the entire Girl Scout Troop had engulfed her. She felt the enclosing “hug,” being the center of the human cinnamon roll.
Each time we participated in this activity, there was always so much laughter. Sometimes, squeals.
And “the center,” while slightly squished, felt the warmth and the human contact of the Girl Scouts wrapped around her.
I’ve often thought about “The Cinnamon Roll” as life has rolled on.
I think about it, complicated, often viewing it through the lens of my abuse history.
I have suffered abuse, mostly from childhood. Emotional, mental, verbal, spiritual, and financial abuse have all been a part of my childhood experiences.
And there is yet another form of abuse that is not as widely discussed.
But it is widely, painfully felt: neglect.
Neglect IS abuse.
Neglect goes beyond not meeting food, clothing, or shelter needs. Yes, that is a part of it.
But Neglect covers the absence of loving, invested parenting and/or nurturing.
Neglect involves when someone does not have the ability to meet needs: the emotional, financial, spiritual, mental, or the personal needs of another person, like a child.
He/she doesn’t “know how to be a parent.”
He/she doesn’t “know how to love.”
You and I are familiar with that cliché. We have often heard the words, uttered as excuses, perhaps minimizing the impact on us.
That is painful.
We are in pain.
But there is another aspect to Neglect, within the abuse realm.
Yes, someone may not know how to show love or be a parent.
But what if they DO?
What if someone knows how to love, how to nurture, how to be a parent, but they are just unwilling to do it?
“When my father and my mother forsake me, Then (Elohim) the LORD will take care of me.”
Psalm 27:10
That is Neglect. And it’s painful.
It’s painful because the message, perhaps, is this: “other people deserve this, but you don’t.”
Preferential treatment.
Physical Touch…
“…‘Do not touch My anointed ones. And do My prophets no harm.’”
Psalm 105:15
Physical abuse is typically defined as harmful touch on the human body. The abuse causes broken bones, bruises, and bleeding, in its most obvious and severe forms.
Many of us experience that.
However, there is another kind of harmful physical touch: the absence of loving physical touch. Again, The Neglect.
Yes, it’s devastating when we are hit with a fist, slapped. It is devastating with we are overpowered, for instance, as children, by adults who cause physical harm in a myriad of ways. They are bigger and stronger than the child; they can use force to execute their plans and demands.
But how many of us… need a hug?
How many of us... are DENIED that hug?
We can be children; we can be adults. The need is still there, no matter our age
“Failure To Thrive…”
This phrase is often uttered regarding babies who just are not responding and growing as they should.
They are listless. They lose weight instead of gaining weight. They don’t “meet developmental targets.”
“Failure To Thrive.”
“…‘Do not touch My anointed ones. And do My prophets no harm.’”
Psalm 105:15
I think it was around the time of 1990 when there was news coverage of Russian babies in orphanages. Footage of numerous cribs, containing baby after baby, displayed this “failure to thrive.”
Indeed, some children were listless, just staring into space.
Others were rocking back and forth, sometimes violently, out of compulsion.
Still other babies could not- or would not- make eye contact with any human being around them.
Journalists wrote stories on these orphans, even noting the heartbreaking realities when, upon some of their adoptions, they displayed severe attachment issues, and even struck their caregivers.
In… anger? In… frustration?
These poor children did not respond well to physical touch. They screamed. They went limp. They hit the person trying to do the hugging.
Why was that?
Simple answer?
Neglect.
These poor children only knew neglect as normal. They didn’t recognize loving human physical contact as normal.
And that goes beyond Russian orphans. It is human vulnerability. And we can all be subject to it.
Forsaken…
“…‘(Elohim)The LORD has forsaken me. And my (Elohim) Lord has forgotten me.’”
Isaiah 49:14
Feelings of being forsaken are part of Neglect.
Again, it’s the message conveyed to us: “You are not important enough to take care of.”
As a child. As an adult.
“Not important enough.”
Forsaken.
This is abusive. It’s harmful. And it involves the harmful aspect of touch.
Therefore…
“…‘Do not touch My anointed ones. And do My prophets no harm.’”
Psalm 105:15
It is rejection when we experience someone withholding love and affection from us.
It can be subtle. It can be obvious.
It is painful.
Physical touch is a human need.
Therefore, to be on the receiving end of a message like “I’m not going to meet this need for you” can be devastating.
Devastation involves someone’s willful choice to deny us our need for love, nurturing, protection, and provision.
And that’s yet another unmet need.
Our soul cries out.
He is Our Cinnamon Roll...
The Most High, Our Father, hears that cry.
“When my father and my mother forsake me, Then (Elohim) the LORD will take care of me.”
Psalm 27:10
He holds us; He touches us…
“‘Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your (YAH) God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’”
Isaiah 41:10
He wants each of us to experience and feel that right now.
“He heals the brokenhearted And binds up their wounds.”
Psalm 147:3
Neglect is a painful part of so many of our lives.
But He desires to surround us with His Love.
He never neglects.
Let’s pray.
ABBA-
We come to You, in The Name of Your Son, Our Savior, Yahshua.
We need Your help when it comes to matters of touch and neglect.
You know fully how we have been hurt by these issues.
You know how we have been neglected by others, including family and “loved ones.”
We ask that You hold us lovingly right now. Help us to feel and experience Your Loving, Healing Touch.
Heal us of all neglect and the pain associated with it.
Thank you for always loving and holding us, in Your Mercy.
Forgive us of our sins, including neglect of You.
Help us to know, to love, and to connect with You.
We thank You and receive it all, In Yahshua’s Name.
Amen.
Copyright © 2026 by Sheryle Cruse
How Many Rodeos Do I Need To Attend? (Cancerventures Book Excerpt)
“…There is nothing new under the sun.”
Ecclesiastes 1:9
Many of us who deal with a cancer diagnosis, have “been to the rodeo” before.
A lump.
A doctor’s appointment.
An ultrasound.
A mammogram.
A biopsy.
Fear of “What it could be.”
Repetition.
Here’s a little of my story.
(Cancerventures Book Excerpt)
In 2003, I noticed a lump. It felt like a rubbery marble suspended in my breast. I immediately made an appointment with a doctor. She checked me out and determined I needed my first mammogram.
So, I showed up, had my breasts trapped in between those cold hard slides and waited for the results. I braced for the worst. I expected to die (this will be a reoccurring theme).
The results? Benign. And a new word, a new diagnosis: “Fibrocystic.”
Apparently, because I had large breasts, I had this dense breast tissue. “Lots of women have this,” I was told. Nothing to be alarmed by. Keep doing your self-exams.
Not my first rodeo…
Jump to 2008. Another rubber marble lump. More distress, more “I’m dying.” I went in for another mammogram. But this time, I was called back for an ultrasound. They “spotted” something.
That doesn’t sound good- “spotted.”
So, more nervous waiting, Again, benign, again, Fibrocystic.
I briefly met with a surgeon, going over my results. As I was given her business card, I also inquired about the need to pre-empt and get them removed before they caused any additional trouble. She said that was certainly a possibility; more women were doing just that.
In the meantime, “keep doing your self-exams.”
Let’s jump to 2013. Gee, what do you think happened again?
Another rubber marble, another mammogram, necessitating another ultrasound. More fear, more death thoughts, more waiting.
As I was led into the changing room for my ultrasound, a nurse, sporting a blonde pixie cut, uttered, “We’re going to hold a good thought now.”
Waiting for the results, you guessed it: benign, Fibrocystic, “Keep doing your self-exams.
Come back for your mammogram next year.”
And apparently, now, I guess, “Hold a good thought.”
And then, it was a different rodeo…
So, let me set the stage. I waited for my June 2017 appointment with a gynecologist when there it was. On June 15th, a lump in my right breast got my attention. I, again, felt the rubber marble. It was most pronounced when I bent over. But this marble was different; it didn’t move with as much ease as the “others” did. It felt even more rubbery, in fact- a bit like an extension cord. I had days to go before my appointment (June 27th).
Once there, I mentioned my findings; the doctor did a self-exam, and seemed calm, telling me she couldn’t feel anything, but, because of my track record, I should get a mammogram and ultrasound done just to rule anything out.
I set it up for that Friday, June 30th.
Joy* greeted Russell, my husband, and me. She was the breast nurse navigator at the clinic who ushered us back to that imaging area and would handle these fun testing details. *(Names of certain specialists are changed to protect privacy; that’s why I’m using alphabet letter names, or, in some instances, completely unisex names. I’m also going to refrain from using masculine or feminine pronouns, in some instances, for further identity protection. So, get used to me using “they,” “them” and “their” to describe these individuals. Just know I’ve come across both male and female practitioners in my experience).
I changed into that gown with blue/green ambiguous prints on it, open and untied in the front. I told the mammogram technician I felt more than one and wasn’t sure it was just a lone mass or if there was more going on. The technician gave me some little stickers to mark the site of the lumps I detected.
For the lump I felt on the underside of my right breast, I told her I needed to lie down to tag it better. So, I was shown a room with the ultrasound equipment, a room I’d be in minutes’ later, and placed two stickers on the sites, hoping my version of pin the tail on the breast donkey was accurate enough.
I returned to the mammogram room and waited to get flattened and stretched into the standard mammogram poses. I was squished by the cold plates and leaned into the machine, grabbing its handle, to get the underarm and node images necessary.
And then I had a fun little conversation with the technician. Why not? I’m here in this gown.
I asked her about the magic age to get mammograms. Was it forty or even forty-five?
That last number sprang up because of my years of conflicting information in and out of the doctors’ offices. I had read and had been told on numerous occasions, that, because of my dense breasts, I didn’t need to get a mammogram every year, because the machines would likely detect the Fibrocystic tissue as tumors, even though they’d be benign.
Not surprisingly, the technician responded with the standard recommendation: yearly mammograms, starting at age forty.
And then she added a little flourish. “You want to adhere to that schedule. I’ve had women who waited too long for their mammograms and unfortunately, by the time they see me, they had to lose both of their breasts.”
Yay, I had my answers- and a fun bit more.
So, moving on to still more fun, the immediate ultrasound. I walked back into the room I left minutes earlier. And there, waiting for me, was Russell. He was sitting in a chair, tucked from view, next to the long privacy curtain drawn as a middle barrier between the “action” and the door. Still in my gown, the technician working the ultrasound informed me I could get up on the table, “the doctor will be in shortly.”
Voilà! She appeared, shaking “nice to meet you” greeting hands with me. And then came the usual warm gel, followed by the ultrasound probe gliding across my breast area. There wasn’t much chit-chat here. The vibe I picked up on was that quiet was what was needed now.
Shhhh! Don’t disturb. As Elmer Fudd might say, “We’re huntin’ tumors!”
So, up and down, side to side, my right breast was canvased. Eventually, the doctor asked me questions about how I came to discover the lump. I told her the boring details: I was used to my Fibrocystic lumpiness and one day earlier this month, I felt a lump which felt “different.” Hence, we’re all now gathered in this room talking about it.
“Good job finding it while doing your self-exam!”’
(I could feel the doctor reaching for any positive spin).
“Thanks.”
And we’re temporarily quiet again. I just had to pipe up, “Yeah, I’ve heard that as long as they’re movable, that’s a better sign. What I felt seemed to be a little movable, but it did feel different…”
(You can hear my bargaining plea, begging to please be told everything is okay).
And then, there was awkward silence, followed by the doctor swiping the probe into my armpit, “Let’s check the nodes.” Nothing seemed to show up, the doctor appeared relieved. I was not. And poor Russell in the chair. This was not what he wanted to do today.
In my earlier conversation with the mammogram technician, I had mentioned previous records and had given the contact information for the clinic to obtain them. Compare and contrast was the mission. Those records were faxed over and comparing and contrasting had taken place. The images, in fact, had changed. And not in a good way.
After getting myself toweled off from the gel and changed, I was not surprised at what followed as we sat in the waiting room, just outside of the breast nurse navigator’s door.
Once ushered in, Joy handed me an official letter from the doctor, using the term,
“suspicious area.” She informed us we needed to schedule a biopsy.
UH. OH.
As we set up the appointment for July 7th, I took a “Biopsy Aftercare” pamphlet and I asked her, “So, if something turns up here, then what’s next?”
“Surgery,” she responded.
UH. OH…
The Book of a People (“IF YOU Know?” Book Excerpt)
“If My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land.”
2 Chronicles 7:14
I had my answer ready. I went through cancer. I left my mother. I was in a new city, at the beginning of a Pandemic.
I had a lot on my mind. But I knew the answer to his question.
“…In the mouth of two or three witnesses shall every word be established.”
2 Corinthians 13:1
A maintenance man came by to fix our overhead kitchen light.
I was busy writing on my laptop.
This maintenance man stopped his work. He started a conversation with me.
“Do you think The Bible is a bunch of scriptures, or do you think it is the book of a people?”
Raqel, over many conversations, had uttered this familiar phrase, “the book of a people.”
She had shared some of her findings with me, doing the deep research she had been about in her life.
Therefore, I knew the answer to his question.
I responded, “The book of a people.”
He seemed surprised and delighted.
We talked for about forty-five minutes. He shared a lot of the information and insights that Raqel had mentioned in our conversations. We pinged off from one another. The conversation became livelier.
How much of that was attributed to my “white woman” appearance?
I told him a bit about my confusing background experiences.
He shared how he was pursuing his calling from The Most High, via ministry, on this subject matter.
And then I brought up Proverbs 30:4:
“…What is Your Name, and what is Your Son’s Name, if you know?”
Proverbs 30:4
He lit up at that scripture’s mention. Maybe I was the first “white” person he encountered regarding this. I don’t know.
The Name.
I do know that this was not just about fixing a kitchen light.
“…In the mouth of two or three witnesses shall every word be established.”
2 Corinthians 13:1
Divine appointment? Confirmation?
It was an unusual encounter in my apartment. This was quite specific yet dressed up as “ordinary.”
Isn’t that often how The Most High goes about things?
Anyway, it got my attention.
I didn’t know what to do with this.
Again, this was during the intensity of the Pandemic. Everyone was sheltering in place and wearing masks.
I didn’t know anyone within this new city.
I had no “spiritual home,” no “faith community,” no church.
And, even if I did, how would they receive me beginning to launch into this? I’d be stuttering through this information, probably making gibberish out of the entire thing.
Doing more harm than good.
I still wonder about that as I type these words…
If You Know?: Cruse, Sheryle: 9798272042019: Amazon.com: Books
Search Out a Matter (IF You Know?)
“It is the Glory of The Most High to conceal a thing: but the honor of kings is to search out a matter.”
Proverbs 25:2
There’s MORE!
The Most High is concealing it. It’s for you and I to search it out.
What IS That?
If You Know?: Cruse, Sheryle: 9798272042019: Amazon.com: Books
Permission To Be Freaked Out (Cancerventures)
“The Truth shall set you free.”
John 8:32
Breast cancer is grizzly. Ugly. Scary. Painful.
And beautiful.
Beautiful?
Yes, because there’s truth in it.
We try to run away from the Truth, but it’s there.
Including how images so deeply affect us.
It’s okay to see horror at the way cancer changes things: bodies, lives, appearances of all kinds.
Admit that you don’t want to look at, you don’t want to face what you’re facing.
You have permission to be freaked out.
“I will never leave you, nor forsake you.”
Hebrews 13:5
Amazon.com: Cancerventures: Tales of a Diagnosed Woman eBook : Cruse, Sheryle: Kindle Store
“EST.”
How many of us, right now, feel on shaky ground?
Insecure?
That there is nothing we can count on?
It’s time, perhaps, for a little life review.
What were we told…once, twice, three times, or more?
What did we do WITH those occurrences?
“This will be my third visit to you. ‘Every matter must be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’”
2 Corinthians 13:1
“Let everything be established…”
The abbreviation for the word, “established” is “EST.”
We often see it on signage for businesses, the year things got going for them.
And “EST.” is “3” letters, in its abbreviation.
“…three witnesses.’”
Meaning, that, the seemingly insignificant circumstances in our lives, repeating themselves, often carry great weight and value than we realize.
The sage advice…
The destructive behavior or choice that we have experienced negative consequences for, that we know we should change…
The positive, rewarding people and interactions in our lives, that show who is truly there, valuing us…
Just some examples.
“Established.”
Why comes to our minds when you and I hear, read, see that word?
Is it about success?
Stability?
A goal?
“…Even if everyone else is a liar, Elohim is true.”
Romans 3:4
“In the beginning the Word already existed. The Word was with Elohim, and the Word was Elohim.”
John 1:1
“For I am Elohim, I do not change; Therefore you are not consumed…”
Malachi 3:6
Scriptures, that, to me, give off some SERIOUS Establish vibes!
What is established in your life right now? Because something is.
What do you bank on to always be there?
My cancer diagnosis, and all its twists and turns, has had me question permanence versus impermanence.
“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is
Elohim’s purpose that prevails.”
Proverbs 19:21
What are you establishing right now?
Money?
Success?
Wealth?
Relationships?
Where is The Most High, in all that?
Is He there?
If not, why not?
IF so, where does He rank, in your “list?”
No judgment.
Questions.
What answers are being “established” in your life?
“EST.”
Three little letters that declare so much.
Copyright © 2026 by Sheryle Cruse
There, But For The Grace Of The Most High, Go I (“Hello, Gentlemen…”)
“See, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands; Your walls are continually before Me.”
Isaiah 49:16
Both The Called and The Afflicted are marked, set apart, and put through a process.
Some of us, that process involves prison.
There But For The Grace of The Most High Go I.
But He never writes off anyone. He decides to love us.
And He decides to choose, love, and value our Hearts.
“‘…(Elohim) the LORD does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but (Elohim) the LORD looks at the heart.”
1 Samuel 16:7
So, Gentlemen…
“Remember those in prison as if you were bound with them, and those who are mistreated as if you were suffering with them.”
Hebrews 13:3
Amazon.com: "Hello Gentlemen...": 9798259016163: Cruse, Sheryle: Books
Your Memories (One Drive)
