Bouncers and Nope Cats

“But I am poor and needy; Yet (Elohim) the LORD thinks upon me. You are my help and my deliverer; Do not delay, O my (YAH) God.”
Psalm 40:17

I can’t get in. I’m out in the cold. No matter how hard I try, the situation doesn’t change.

Perhaps, you’re like Kitty here.

See yourself shoved into a corner, with no affirming view, other than the wall?

Is your life currently one big, fluffy Nope Cat?

“Some days are sulky. Some days have a grin. And some days are bouncers that won’t let you in.”

U2, “Some Days are Better Than Others”

Those lyrics have become front and center for me, especially lately. Especially when Cancer and caregiving had pressed my face to many walls, with no seeming way of escape. I’d wake up, having an important “to-do” list, motivated and inspired to only encounter the bouncer du jour, who decimated my mindset. Sometimes, it was fatigue.

 My 2017 diagnosis, surgery, and radiation, indeed, ushered me into a brand- new experience of the word, “tired.” Bad reports and/or fear and anxiety over medical tests also slammed the door shut on me. I couldn’t concentrate on breathing, let alone, on “getting stuff done.”

And then there was my mother.

Oh, man. Where do I start?

Enmeshed mother-daughter issues? Her increased fogginess?

I had many Nope Cat instances, just hoping the bouncer that would not let me in for that particular circumstance would also not beat me to a bloody pulp.

It’s great to have aspirations.

It has been almost a year, now, since her passing. I have a bit of perspective, looking back. I see bouncers and “nope cats” in a different way now.

So, what do we do when we get bounced?

I have learned a few strategies.

Write.

I don’t have to be Shakespeare or Stephen King (although they both were great at conveying grisly drama). I just must express myself.

Bad spelling, punctuation, mess, it doesn’t matter. Get it out of my system however I need to.

So, that may mean some truly horrendous poetry. That may mean I just stab the paper with an ink pen. Whatever works. Really. Whatever works.

In the case of my mother and my diagnosis, I’ve written some scathing stuff directed at them both. Just let it rip. And then, after I was done with my rampage, I destroyed it, via my paper shredder.

I do this as tangible proof to both my conscious and my unconscious mind that I have done something. I don’t know the details of how the brain works. But I do know I have taken action. Screaming, stabbing, shredding, bad writing action, but action, all the same.

“For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also.”

James 2:26

I have dealt with that particular bouncer and my Nope Cat growls with satisfaction, not frustration.

So yes, whatever you’re struggling with, whatever is preventing you from gaining entry into life for that certain situation, get it out of your mind and onto paper.

Read.

It sounds cliché, but reading helps the human being’s mind.

And, yes, speaking of minds, sometimes, it’s helpful to get out of ours for a while and into someone else’s. Novels, classic literature, self-help, memoirs, comic books (a/k/a, graphic novels for you connoisseurs), or even, Dr. Seuss- it doesn’t matter.

The weekend before I received my biopsy results that yes, indicated I had Breast cancer, I was absorbed in Mayte Garcia’s autobiography, “The Most Beautiful: My Life with Prince.”

I’m a Prince fan and from Minnesota, like the superstar, so, I was naturally engrossed in learning what is what like to be the Purple One’s Beloved. The book was juicy, with romance, love, drama and yes, tragedy. And it took me out of my “Do-I-have-cancer-and-am-I going-to-die” thoughts. I still needed to face my biopsy results after the weekend was over, but, for that “time being,” it was all about great love, great sexiness and great loss. My bouncer and Nope Cat were tinged purple.

Likewise, if you’re going through it, bounced out of a day, a week, a month, or any epic era in your life, transport yourself however you need to...and read.

And I wouldn’t be a responsible person of faith if I didn’t mention how reading Scripture can help with stifling Bouncers and Nope Cats.

“So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth; It shall not return to Me void, But it shall accomplish what I please, And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.”

Isaiah 55:11

The Word of The Most High works; it will not fail!

Pray.

“Pray without ceasing.”

1 Thessalonians 5:17

It’s not about “Thee’s” and “Thou’s.”

It’s not about using the King’s English.

No.

Prayer is that visceral connection to Our Creator. We didn’t just hatch on our own, after all.

Prayer has gotten a bad rap. It can be viewed as irrelevant, impotent, and foolish. It’s also been a tool to shame and intimidate us. We just aren’t “good enough” to pray and seriously expect our prayers to be answered. We’ve sinned too much, screwed up too much. We’re not cultured or well-versed enough to access it.

“Go back to your dank, hopeless hole, then, you peasant.”

Something like that.

I’ve prayed most of my life. And, most of my prayers were not of the noble, erudite or selfless variety.  The ongoing reality of my cancer diagnosis (what it is, what it could turn into, what I fear), yep, my prayers do not employ the King’s English.

“Pray in the Spirit at all times, with every kind of prayer and petition. To this end, stay alert with all perseverance in your prayers for all the saints.”

Ephesians 6:18

I mainly use these two words instead: “Look” and “Help!”

“Look…”

When I’m not in an immediately urgent state, just dissatisfied on some personal issue, I usually start my prayers with this word. It’s a preface; it lays my complaining groundwork.

Yes, I’m a complainer.

But, concerning humanity, I mean, gritty humanity, aren’t we all?

Leave Pollyanna to Hayley Mills!

The rest of us must deal with the real world.

So, I just lay it all out there, unvarnished, whiny, but true. Why mess with dishonesty here, after all? That’d be pointless.

“Help!”

Not just a Beatles’ song, Folks.

When I need to cut to the chase, this is my prayer.

I’m in danger; I’m in despair.

Cancer often fits the bill concerning both. I need a lot of help these days. Preventing myself from sinking into depression, noticing a weird symptom that, yes, could be cancer all over again, feeling alone and disconnected- all areas necessitating a “Help” prayer.

“My times are in Your hand; Deliver me from the hand of my enemies, And from those who persecute me.”

Psalm 31:15

And after I’ve gotten out of a jam, I do try to say another prayer: “Thank you.”

“Therefore I exhort first of all that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks be made for all men.”

1 Timothy 2:1

But I’m mortal.

And so, sometimes, unfortunately, I’m quite a rude little thing. And that requires a whole ‘nother prayer: “Forgive me.”

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

1 John 1:9

If you find yourself leaning toward saying a prayer, using any old string of sincere pleas, go with it. Don’t fight it. The Most High IS listening.

To the bouncer and to the Nope Cat here, I say, Amen.

Cry. (Or whimper. Yowl. Howl. Sob. Sniffle. Take your pick).

“... ‘I have heard thy prayer, I have seen thy tears: behold, I will heal thee...”

2 Kings 20:5

 

My own personal dam breaks on a regular basis.

Once upon a time, I could keep it together.

I could hold back tears. I could power through, being stoic.

No more.

Now I cry.

It’s not unheard of for it to happen on practically a daily basis. Bleak cancer situations. Bleak grief. Bleak, I’m a woman, imperfectly living an imperfect life.

I ping-pong from issue to issue: fear, obligation, guilt, frustration, loss.

You know, like the rest of us out there. It can be too much.

And, since my diagnosis, there has been a raw intensity to issues, emotions, and life. It’s Technicolor, but without Bugs Bunny.

And so, I let it out. To deny my real, raw, intense feelings is to possibly sprout a recurrence. If I don’t get it out now, it could poison me.

So, I cry, bawl, weep, whimper, sniffle, whine, wail. I do it all. Whenever. Wherever. I try not to do it in public so much, but still, sometimes, the dam breaks. Take that, you bouncer. My Nope Cat needs a hanky.

And, Sweet Soul, if you, likewise, need to address your bouncers and Nope Cats with some boo-hoos, please do. We are feeling beings. And feeling beings cry.

“They that sow in tears shall reap in joy.”

Psalms 126:5

Rest.

“He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters.”

Psalm 23:2

Bouncers and Nope Cats can be exhausting. They challenge our self-worth and pull energy from us, as we struggle to adjust, heal and soothe ourselves. Yet, how rarely do we actually rest from all of this taxing work?

Just like being in charge of an actual child, including their nap times, we need to make sure that we, children of The Most High, recharge.

We cannot just go-go-go.

We will hit a wall, sometimes, literally. As the children we inherently are, indeed, a strawberry jam-filled, sticky fist print may be smeared on a surface, somewhere, as we finally give way to a temper tantrum, overtired, and shrieking.

Come on. You’ve been there; I’ve been there. But I personally prefer cherry preserves.

However, now, my cancer diagnosis, in particular, grabbed and admonished me, “Pay attention! Rest, Little One!”

So, yes, I must consciously make myself aware, I have to consciously practice this statement AND behavior: “I give myself permission to rest.”

More to the point, He makes me rest.

And that goes beyond nigh-nigh time. Sleep is important; I make it a priority.

But rest incorporates other things as well.

I walk away from a person or a situation that doesn’t work for me; sometimes, I leave a conversation. To do otherwise is to invite a drain that is quite detrimental to me. It’s detrimental to any single one of us. And we need to give ourselves permission to step away from disease-causing stimulus.

And sometimes, rest includes being done with a particularly challenging circumstance.

There is a character from “The Lego Movie:”

Uni-kitty.

Part pink cat, part unicorn, all block-y Lego. In the animated film, she interacts with the other characters as a sweet and innocent cat face smiling as the adventures unfurl.

But, inevitably, Uni-kitty reaches her breaking point, fed up with playing nice and in an outburst, exclaims, “Ah, forget it!!!”

She then explodes into a red, furious version of herself and startles everyone in the process.

Mama means business.

Rest sometimes means you have to be done.

Be done with being mistreated and abused in a relationship. Be done with a frustrating behavior. Be done forcing yourself to “achieve” some impossible standard.

Sometimes, in order to rest, you and I have to say, “Ah, forget it!!!”

To the bouncer and to the Nope Cat circumstances, I say, “Behold, the wrath of Uni-kitty!”

Again, whatever works.

“‘Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’”

Isaiah 41:10

Bouncers and Nope Cats happen to us all.  

Even when everyone and everything else, seemingly, says “no” to us, we can make the choice to answer our lives with “yes.”

We can turn to Him, “the Author and Finisher of our Faith” (Hebrews 12:2).

No Nope Cat or Bouncer can go against that.

Copyright © 2025 by Sheryle Cruse