Abba Daddy (IF You Know?)

Abba: What is His Name?

“…What is His Name, and what is His Son’s Name, if you know?”

Proverbs 30:4

Out of the many Names we call Him, The Most High, He is Father.

More than that, He is Abba (Daddy).

“The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.”

Romans 8:15

 

For those of us with Daddy issues?

His Name is ointment (Solomon 1:3).

Apply “Daddy” to your life now.

ABBA FATHER-

In YOUR NAME AS FATHER, in the Name of Yahshua, Your Son, Our Savior, we come to you.

We are trying to learn this Name of Yours.

For so many of us, it may be the most painful and difficult Name to ever learn.

Help us.

Forgive us.

 Lead us into being Fathered YOUR Way.

What does that LOOK like, for each of us?

Please adopt us.

We NEED Your Spirit of Adoption.

You know we struggle.

We have not just been hurt by our earthly fathers, but also by the traumas and the lies they carried and passed onto us.

We have been hurt by the wrong identity we believed in and inhabited, because our fathers did not know or did not accept the truth about who they were.

Many of them did not accept You.

And that damaged EACH of us.

Heal that damage, now, As Father.

And even more so, as “Abba.”

“Daddy.”

We need our Daddy.

Be that for each of us now, not just IN NAME, but in a Loving Reality that we can experience from You.

Thank You for loving and healing us.

We receive it all, by faith, in Your Fatherly Name, expressed through the Fatherly Love of Your Son.

Amen.

“Teach me thy way… I will walk in Thy Truth: unite my heart to fear Thy Name.”

Psalm 86:11

(“IF You Know?” Book Excerpt)

If You Know?: Cruse, Sheryle: 9798272042019: Amazon.com: Books

 

The Pharisee’s Virtue Signaling

Okay, Ladies and Gentlemen. We’re going to have a little vocabulary lesson.

To enlighten the inner Pharisee within us all.

You have one; I have one.

“As the Scriptures say, ‘No one is righteous— not even one. No one is truly wise; no one is seeking (The Most High) God.’”

Romans 3:10-11

I know. It’s already a rallying pep talk.

Scripturally, I was-uh- inspired by the Parable of The Pharisee and The Tax Collector (Luke 18:9-14).

Have I lost many of you already?

When we think “scripture,” many of us can tend to think “ancient,” “old Timey,” maybe even “irrelevant?”

Well, okay, I can understand that.

Therefore, let’s bump things up a few centuries or so, to more “modern” definitions.

This is a lesson on definitions here. And the applications of them.

A more “modern-day” definition of the “ancient Pharisee…”

“Virtue Signaling.”

Its Definition…

“the public expression of opinions or sentiments intended to demonstrate one's good character or social conscience or the moral correctness of one's position on a particular issue.”

Yes, it’s all about “Calling attention.”

A modern example, maybe?

Someone who is eco-friendly, proclaiming how they recycle consistently.

Is that “virtuous?” Admirable? Free from all forms of “Hypocrisy?”

Yes and no.

Next definition, therefore,…

“Virtue:”

“behavior showing high moral standards; Goodness; Righteousness; Integrity; Honesty.”

“Virtue” may feel like an outdated word, especially in our fast-paced world.

The “Signaling” of the “virtue signaling,” maybe makes it more relevant.

But it still conveys an awful lot of Pharisee.

Going back to our eco-friendly person example…

They are eco-friendly, proclaiming (probably loudly, on social media) how they recycle consistently.

Okay.

But they also drive a gas guzzler, maximizing their “carbon footprint.”

Not EXACTLY great for the environment.

Let’s now tack on a Hollywood celebrity version of this point we often hear about.

“Said celebrity” is an environmentalist, again, recycling, like crazy.

Yet they still insist on flying their private jets all around the world.

They proclaim the saving of the environment. But they don’t want to fly, like the common folks do.

They do not share in the solidarity of lost luggage, long waits, and the fun that is “regular people flying.”

Before I throw all the stones at my chosen glass houses, let me proclaim that I “recycle.”

And I also use products that are not “eco-friendly.”
My adolescence, alone, burned gigantic holes in The Ozone Layer, because of my use of Aqua Net.

But a good hair day. Being a teenager. It’s about priorities, right?

This is not to pick on environmentalists.

It’s to illustrate the definition of Hypocrisy…

…and how we ALL do it.

 “Apocalypse Now,” in gif form, you question?

Have I gone off the deep end?

Well, maybe not.

Let’s head back to “old timey” Scripture now.

The Pharisee and the Tax Collector

The Elements of Pharisaical Virtue Signaling…

First, this is a lesson in trusting our own flawed ability and tricky hearts…

“He also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and treated others with contempt.”

Verse 9

This can cut straight to the Pharisee heart in all of us. You know, it’s the thought that asserts, “I’m a good person.”

Yet, we put so much emphasis on that image, discounting this reality…

“The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is?”

Jeremiah 17:9

Is our wicked heart telling us that we are “good people?”

This is not to trash us. It is to point out that our perception of our own goodness, our own righteousness, our own “virtue signaling,” may not be as good as we think it is.

It’s imperfect, at best.

We all fall short of His Glory (Romans 3:23).

Yahshua starts His Parable on this Spiritual Truth, Pharisee, or no Pharisee.

Next, we have two very different people from two very different walks of life…

“Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector.”

Verse 10

Enter our main characters in this scene.

The Pharisee was regarded as the Holy Man, the important Priest, in charge of all responsibilities and Temple affairs. He was learned, well-versed in The Torah, able to quote a Scripture for any situation.

(Already, those of us who sling Scripture around, like yours truly, should take the point of caution here: GULP!)

The other guy? The tax collector?

Well, he was regarded, probably as “the scum of the earth,” shifty, money-grubbing, untrustworthy, and certainly NOT Holy!

How dare he come towards anything Holy! How dare he enter The Temple, right?

The scene it set.

And from that scene, we hear the first proclamation from one, long before the crowing on social media…

“The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed thus: ‘(YAH) God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, 

or even like this tax collector.  I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.’”

(Verses 11-12)

(Hang on, let me get one of my favorite eye-roll gifs)…

Okay. All set.

Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, all of us need to become aware of EXACTLY how RIGHTEOUS, VIRTUOUS, AND WORTHY This Man of The Most High IS!!!!

Everyone, within his earshot, must recognize it. We must all be dazzled.

But, more than this, he must puff himself up.

Why must he?

Is this a case of, to borrow and paraphrase from Shakespeare’s “Hamlet,” a bit…

“The Pharisee doth proclaim (and protest) too much, methinks.”

Could it POSSIBLY BE that our Pharisee, Our Holy of Holy Guy, is feeling just a bit…INSECURE?

What is the expression?

“There is nothing more dangerous than an insecure leader.”

Gulp, again, you and me. HARD SWALLOW.

Is that what we have in our own individual wicked and deceitful hearts and hands?

Selah. Pause and think about THAT.

Okay, so, Holy Guy is popping off. We cannot help but hear him. There are no spiritual earplugs to drown out his self-righteous voice.

What about our other fellow?

Now, we hear from him…

“But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, 

but beat his breast, saying, ‘(YAH) God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’”

Verse 13

That’s quite a contrast, isn’t It?

Maybe, it has been from a lifetime of believing the negative press attached to his tax collector identity. Maybe he has been repeatedly bullied, belittled, had rotten tomatoes thrown at him, because he deals with “collecting money.”

Maybe this has all gotten to him.

Maybe his conscience is screaming at him.

Maybe he just freshly, and, in a big way, sinned.

And he feels wretched about it.

His response certainly comes across as wretched, doesn’t it?

It is here where we can have a little perspective from the famous Psalmist, David…

“My sacrifice, O (YAH) God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, (YAH) God, will not despise.”

Psalm 51:17

“(Elohim) The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

Psalm 34:18

Thanks, David.

This broken heart and broken spirit situation are what it’s all about.

Not an impressive Holy resume. Not Virtue Signaling of all kinds of “good deeds.”

The broken heart. The broken spirit.

When WAS the last time you and I truly HAD one of these?

Self-reflection.

Selah.

This all leads us to the finale of Yahshua’s parable.

Finally, THE POINT…

“I tell you; this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other.

For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”

Verse 14

Exaltation and Humility.

“Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.”
Proverbs 16:18

This seems like a great place to again, reiterate “Apocalypse Now…”

No “good deeds” can save us.

In fact, they are called “filthy rags” (Isaiah 64:6).

We cannot “out-do” The Salvation work of Yahshua, accomplished long before there was ever such a phrase as “virtue signaling.”

The puffed-up Pharisee confidence has been around for a long time.

It’s sin. One of the sins we desperately needed Yahshua to die for.

So, as you and I squirm, what can we do?

We can pray. Let’s do so.

 

ABBA-

I come to You, receiving and thanking You For Yahshua, My Savior; In His Name, and by His Blood, I come to You now.

You know that I am a hypocrite. You know my every sin.

Forgive me and help me.

I have tried to do things on my own, by my own strength, often exhibiting pride, in the process.

That is sin.

It’s a filthy rag.

I need You to help me.

Guide me and help me to be truly repentant, truly honest about who I am.

You see me clearly; I cannot hide myself from You.

Help me to live my life, broken heart, broken spirit, and all, for You, loving and glorifying You, for the rest of my life.

I cannot do this on my own. I need You.

Thank You for hearing my prayer.

Thank You for helping me.

I receive it all, in The Name of Yahshua.

Amen.

 

Copyright © 2026 by Sheryle Cruse

 

The Art of the Ask

Perhaps, it’s because I’m an only child.

You are familiar with the reputation we have: “spoiled brats.”

But I have been notorious for asking.

Asking a lot of questions, asking for several things in prayers.

As reverent and noble as I would like to be, I mean, come on, a lot of my prayers are about “gimme.”

Telling on myself; check out my warts.

Anyway, I have a tricky relationship with this scripture…

“You lust and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and war. Yet you do not have because you do not ask.”

James 4:2

A famous translation of this verse states:

“You have not, because you ask not.”

This appears to be encouraging to us, encouraging us to ask.

And that is great for all of us who consider ourselves to be in the “gimme, gimme, my name is Jimmy” crowd.

(Or “James,” if you’re fancy).

At face value, it, yes, has been tempting and easy to run with the bull, amuck and full-on asking, asking, asking.

However…

(Did I hear a loud groan?)

However…

The next verse has more life lesson/cautionary tale stuff added to it.

You know, not the “fun stuff.”

“You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures.”

James 4:3

Eh, who feels great about themselves now, huh?

“Asking amiss.”

Instant gratification.

Ulterior motives.

Selfishness.

Pleasure.

“Gimme.”

I, yeah, could probably write several books on how I do that.

But, for now, I will refer to one of the books I HAVE written: “Cancerventures: Tales of a Diagnosed Woman.”

Not just a shameless plug, but to approach “the ask,” the “art of the ask,” from an advocacy perspective.

Once diagnosed with something like cancer, hate to break it to ya, but you will need to be your own advocate, at least in the natural, imperfect world.

Please let me mention that we have an ULTIMATE Advocate…

“My dear children, I am writing this to you so that you will not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an Advocate who pleads our case before the Father. He is (Yahshua Ha-Mashiach) Jesus Christ, the One who is truly righteous.”

1 John 2:1

Yep, Yahshua.

He’s always there, always making intercession for us.

Probably because we are always needing it.

We are a bunch of simple sheep, getting things stuck in our hooves all the time.

I’m digressing a bit, and it’s great digressing.

Yahshua.

He’s “The Point.”

Nevertheless, back to asking, being our diagnosed advocates…

 

(Book Excerpt from “Cancerventures: Tales of a Diagnosed Woman”)…

…Just Ask:  

First, a tip about the lab, the place where all dreaded blood draws are done.  

In a conversation with Joy a couple of weeks before my appointment, I asked if it were possible to have a certain nurse draw my blood for this scary CA 27.29 test.  

Yes, it is! The art of the ask!  

So, I requested that a note be made in my chart, summoning my angel nurse of butterfly needles to do those early 7:30 a.m. honors. 

This angel gets it on the first stick. A 25- gauge butterfly needle (because of my teeny, squirmy veins), administered to the top of my left hand, in the vein right above my wrist bone, and voilà! In and out, little pain, no pin cushion. 

But I initially thought this request of mine was too fussy, even by my standards.  

(In a British accent) “Yes, Alfred, please bring me my personal bloodwork nurse. Have her meet me on the terrace.” 

But no, clinics do comply with such a request. 

The lesson here: when, in doubt, ask. Just ask. You never know what is possible. Maybe you could get your preferred individual instead of being at the mercy of a potential hatchet person. Just ask…”

It’s about asking for and using discernment.

Straddling the line between selfish “gimme asking,” and coming to Him, with all our requests, understanding our less-than-wonderful reasons behind them.

“You lust and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and war. Yet you do not have because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures.”

James 4:2-3

But good news! He knows all about them anyway. He is not thrown off or blindsided.

He’s in control.

Let’s ask, then, and trust Him to be so.

Especially with something as serious as “a diagnosis.”

Ask HIM FIRST, and then, go from there.

How about that?

Let’s pray. 

ABBA FATHER-

I come to You, in The Name of Your Son, My Savior, Yahshua.

You know what I have been asking for: silently, quietly, loudly, even destructively.

Forgive me and help me.

You know that in so much of my life, I have asked but I have not received what I have asked for.

You know how that has damaged my trust and faith.

You also know that I have not asked for things, especially from You. I have not asked for things, because I did not know I could or should ask You for them. I have not asked You for things, because I did not believe You would give me what I asked for.

Either way, forgive me.

I ask You, right now, revealing my heartbeat. Maybe I do not even know what I am asking for.

Maybe I have not asked You at all, let alone, “as I should.”

I need so much of Your Help and Your Forgiveness.

I ask You for THIS HELP, IF NOTHING ELSE, right now.

Help me to have the courage, and the right heart and spirit, to come to You, and ask You.

You already know my yearnings and my needs.

Help me as only You can.

Thank You.

I receive it, as best as I can, right now, by faith.

In Yahshua’s Name, I pray,

Amen.

Copyright © 2026 by Sheryle Cruse

 

Disclosure (Thin Enough Book Excerpt)

Disclosure (Thin Enough Book Excerpt)

 

…“‘For I will restore health to you, and heal you of your wounds,’...”

—Jeremiah 30:17

 

Disclosure was the next step in my recovery process. As I was focusing on the benefits of physical health again, I desired to address my emotional and spiritual needs as well. Again, this pursuit was not tied up in a neat package. Disclosure would be experimental for me, “trying it out” on people, testing the waters.

 

Question: Are you scared to have people know “the real you”?

 

My first successful attempt at disclosure occurred at a doctor’s visit. I thought, “she’s a doctor; I’m her patient. She needs to know these things.” Although it was a small step, I felt relieved and empowered as I filled out the medical history forms. I was still nervous, though, as I wrote that I was recovering from eating disorders in the “Other Conditions” blank.

 

When we were in the exam room, going over my history, I felt relief when she barely batted an eyelash at my “horrible secrets.” I don’t know what I feared. Would she gasp in horror, alert her staff and the local media, sequester me to a cell for the rest of my life, while telling me how worthless, hopeless, and stupid I was? That didn’t happen. A new thought was freeing and comforting to me: I wasn’t in danger because someone knew.

 

Feeling encouraged by the end of this visit, I ask if she knew of any good therapists. Having recently moved to a new state, I viewed this as a good time to take advantage of a clean slate. I kept thinking about was the decision I made when I’d said to God: “Fine, if others know about this, fine.” My actions had yet to show I meant this decision. A few previous, unsuccessful bouts with disclosure left me feeling very reluctant and gun-shy. To say that I had trust issues would be an understatement. They were, indeed, added to my “issue pile.” I had to deal with all of it though.

 

“He who covers his sins will not prosper: but whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy.”

—Proverbs 28:13

 

My first unsuccessful disclosure attempt had been with my roommates during my sophomore year of college. As they became more frustrated with my erratic behavior, they enlisted help from my guidance counselor, the former nun, and another counselor. The four of them then “ganged up” on me. The second counselor contacted me, informing me that my roommates had set up a meeting with me. My attendance was strongly encouraged. With everything that had occurred that year, I didn’t think they wanted to discuss the apartment decor. Cornered, with no way out, I had no choice but to participate in this meeting.

The “meeting” finally came. It felt like an ambush. We met in one of the college boardrooms, and even the seating arrangement singled me out. I sat alone at the end of the long table. My two roommates and the counselors sat on the opposite end of the long table. I’m not sure if this was an intentional battle plan, but I did feel like I was in a war. The four expressed concern for me, and my roommates confronted me about my behaviors. I was asked to seek professional help that the school could provide for me. I reluctantly admitted what I had done and agreed to seek treatment. I took some comfort in knowing that I wouldn’t have to deal with this for very long. This “meeting” occurred in March. I only had two months to go before transferring to another school the following year.

           

At that time I went to therapy only because I had to go, not because I wanted to go. In my opinion, eating disorder sufferers will go along with the flow because of their own need to avoid confrontation and conflict of any sort. But make no mistake about it, their will can be strong and their personal agendas can be firmly in place. I went to only two sessions with my appointed counselor. We barely scratched the surface of things. She weighed me, she had me draw a self-portrait showing how I saw myself, and we started talking about family issues related to my mother and father. I thought to myself the whole time, “I just need to make it to May, then I’m out of here!” After those two sessions, I canceled any other appointments with her through the month of May. I was “free” once again…

Copyright © 2026 by Sheryle Cruse

 

 

“Daddy Issues” (IF You Know?)

Yes, I have “Daddy Issues.” I discuss my painful, complicated relationship with my dad. It contributed to my eating disorder issues. I recall these experiences in my book, “Thin Enough: My Spiritual Journey Through the Living Death of an Eating Disorder.”

Regardless, The Most High is the Utmost of an Unconditionally Loving “Abba Father.”

Yes, “Daddy.”

“The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.”

Romans 8:15

The Ultimate Measure of a Man…

Yank ‘Em Already! (Cancerventures Book Excerpt)

“Remove the dross from the silver, and a silversmith can produce a vessel.”

Proverbs 24:5

Yank ‘Em Already!  (Cancerventures Book Excerpt)

…Yank ‘Em Already!  

The next day, October 10th, finally, was my drain removal day. It could not come fast enough. They were becoming increasingly itchy.  

So, can we please yank them? 

“Hubby” and I arrived at the surgeon’s office. I hopped on a reclining exam table and Dr. M. removed the bandages, approving of how I had been healing, thus far. 

“Okay, deep breath in, on the count of three…one, two, three!” My right- sided drain didn’t hurt at all; it pulled right out. I was relieved, especially as that drain site felt more irritated of late. 

Moving on to my left side, the same drill: “Okay, deep breath in, on the count of three…one, two, three!” 

Ye-e-e-owww!   

That one smarted and resisted coming out before the complete yank. I saw Russell wince and look away. Not a great sign there that things are hunky dory.  Dr. M. nonchalantly explained, “Sometimes they catch.”

Sometimes they catch.  

I was re-bandaged. I had another checkup later in the month.  

I quickly looked in the mirror. That lumpy spot, just below the collarbone on my right side, was gone. I asked what had happened to it. 

“Oh, that was the drain.” 

Wow. It was shoved up that far, huh? Bizarre. It made me feel like I was incubating a tape worm... 

Copyright © 2026 by Sheryle Cruse

 

 

“Olive”

“Olive”

“…What is His Name, and what is His Son’s Name, if you know?”

Proverbs 30:4

There is power in a name, a word, and an adjective.

From my personal experiences, I discuss what id cod for “Olive.”

Check out the actress, Cynthia Hulle.

What do you see?

See any resemblance as you look at yourself?

Ask The Most the deep, scary questions, including, “What is Your Name?”

www.whatishisname.com/name-the-issue/cynthia-hull-if-you-know-book-excerptnbsp

If You Know?: Cruse, Sheryle: 9798272042019: Amazon.com: Books

Speckled Bird

Go check out Jeremiah 12:9…

“Has not my inheritance become to me like a speckled bird of prey that other birds of prey surround and attack? Go and gather all the wild beasts; bring them to devour.”

What comes up for you, in your life?

There’s more going on than we realize.

If You Know?: Cruse, Sheryle: 9798272042019: Amazon.com: Books

The Radiation “Get List” (Cancerventures Book Excerpt)

“Wisdom is the principal thing; Therefore get wisdom. And in all your getting, get understanding.”

Proverbs 4:7

The Radiation “Get List” (Cancerventures Book Excerpt)

…(Before you undergo radiation, you will need stuff). 

Radiation Get List:  

A large tote bag, as there will be no Sherpa to help you lug your stuff around.  

Any device which streams Netflix, Hulu, YouTube, etcetera, for all your waiting and distraction needs. (“Hubby” bought a Kindle Fire for me and it has been a sanity saver. I’ve watched a lot of bad television, cute animal videos and documentaries on it).  

Aquaphor and Aloe Vera Gel, to keep your skin from bursting into flames.  

Miaderm-especially when your skin starts tightening and cracking. (This product is a  

Godsend).  

Ice packs (again, for when your skin feels like it’s on fire).  

Large soft cotton button- down shirts, because you will have difficulty putting things on and taking them off over your head.  

Large, disposable T-shirts (because the Aquaphor and Aloe Vera goop will make your clothes greasy). Don’t wear anything silk when you’re this slimy!  

Leggings and comfy clothes for radiation- comfort. (If you want to wear ballgowns and tiaras, that’s your business. But soft, lounge attire, verging on pajamas, is what is needed).   

Alright, let’s get irradiated…  

Copyright © 2026 by Sheryle Cruse

 

 

Anorexia: Wearing Layers

Shirley (IF You Know?)

Trying To Find The Tape

This is one of the great human challenges in life.

Trying to find the beginning where packing or Scotch tape begins.

Ever have a roll of tape without its convenient dispenser?

It’s like this…

Hide and seek. Peekaboo.

And all we want to do is tape something.

Yet all we find ourselves doing is grasping for the starting point.

Grasping for it.

Groping.

Did you know that groping shows up in Scripture?

And it’s not a “little grope,” either.

It’s a significant grope.

“So that they should seek (Elohim) the Lord, in the hope that they might grope for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us. for in Him we live and move and have our being, as also some of your own poets have said, ‘For we are also His offspring.’”

Acts 17:27-28

Yep.

Groping. It doesn’t just happen. It’s an education.

We don’t know what to look/grope for.

“We love Him before He first loved us.”

1 John 4:19

We don’t even know we are lost, at any given point in our lives.

Most of us, in one way or another, just thrash and bump into dark space after dark space.

We believe various lies.

Sometimes, we think that something that appears to be so close to us, within reach, is the answer to our lives…

And then, there are times when we only are going backwards…

Yeah.

We are doing great, aren’t we?

Why am I employing all these cat gifs?

Well, yes, I admit it. I am a sucker for these things. They are just funny. And my ridiculous nature does like to be amused. I’m a cat lady.

But these gifs, displaying animals in these hysterical situations, appropriately enough, display our HUMAN behavior.

And let’s be real. We all have had some kind of bucket on our heads.

Getting back to our “lost-ness.”

We believe that “this is the way,” and “that is the way.”

We try all kinds of vices, sins, “solutions,” people, and things to find our way.

Nothing works.

Probably, because we are GOING the wrong way.

Again, this is us, in the feline fella here…

Way, way, WAY off course!

Because, drumroll, please…

“….I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.”

John 14:6

Yep, take the buckets and the lampshades off our heads. Nothing that we “try” works.

Cue The Spirit: “Unless the spirit draws…”

“No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws them, and I will raise them up at the last day.”

John 6:44

Attention-getting. The Most High is a Master at it.

Sooner or later, in our lives, we have our attention… “got” by Yahshua.

Think about it.

How many of us have been living our lives for years, for even decades, without seriously giving The Savior His due? We can blow Him off. Maybe, we convince ourselves that our denominational upbringing is “enough” to keep us in good stead.

Maybe we think He is irrelevant. After all, that was ancient times, right?

Maybe, we don’t even know that we are supposed to think about Him.

I think He gets a charge responding to this one.

Because it is SO dramatic. Least likely.

“Suddenly.”

“Suddenly, there was a sound from heaven like the roaring of a mighty windstorm, and it filled the house where they were sitting.”

Acts 2:2

“For as the lightning flashes in the east and shines to the west, so it will be when the Son of Man comes.”

Matthew 24:27

It does not need to be as grandiose as a Hollywood production.

But the “Suddenly”/attention-getting thing cannot be denied.

Something shifted. We cannot “un-know” now.

The Spirit drew us. There is no returning to our “pre-drawn-by-The-Spirit” state.

So, do we think we have finally discovered the metaphorical beginning of the tape, as taunted in this meme?

Well, yes and no.

Infuriating. I know. Just stay with me here.

For, next on deck…

We see through things darkly.

“For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.”

1 Corinthians 13:12

Even with our eye-opening, Spirit-drawn, and illuminating experiences, lighting up our need for The Most High, through Yahshua, our Savior, we still can fumble around in the dark a bit.

Some of this fumbling, is our sins, our poor choices.

And some of it is just that we do not know all there is to know.

How’s THAT for an infuriating answer?

It infuriates me. Recovering, insecure, control freak that I am.

But I am NOT in control. And I am certainly NOT Omnipotent.

He is.

That’s what He wants us to accept, however gradually, suddenly, or anywhere in between.

“Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.”

John 15:5

Apart from Him, we can do nothing.

We are that helpless, that dependent.

Without Him, I couldn’t type any of these words. Without Him, you couldn’t read any of them. Without Him, we could not see, hear, know, do, breathe, or be.

That’s a comprehensive list, isn’t it?

Humbling, but exactly.

We are, therefore, encouraged to keep pursuing Him.

Grope for Him.

Keep groping FOR Him…

 

“So that they should seek the Lord, in the hope that they might grope for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us. for in Him we live and move and have our being, as also some of your own poets have said, ‘For we are also His offspring.’”

Acts 17:27-28

It’s a Relationship, extending, even far beyond “lifestyle.”

It is intimate. It is real. It is relevant. It is the beginning of the true tape we have been spending our entire being trying to find.

Have you “found your being” in Him?

Let’s pray.

ABBA-

I come to You, in The Name of Your Son, My Savior, Yahshua.

You know how I have been trying to find so much in my life.

You see how I have repeatedly failed.

I feel like I am struggling, in the dark, in vain.

Forgive me; help me.

You know my every thought and my every wound.

You see how all of them have led me to keep searching for answers.

You are My Answer.

Long before I ever even knew that there was a Scripture, encouraging me to grope for You.

By faith, now, I do.

I come to You, with a groping spirit, heart, mind, and will.

You know I cannot do anything without You.

Help me to gain a better understanding of that.

Help me; I need Your Help in every area of my life.

Don’t leave me to myself.

Thank You for keeping me throughout my life.

I fully give it to You, now, by faith.

Be glorified with, in, and through it.

Thank You.

I receive You; I grope after You,

In Yahshua’s Name,

Amen.

Copyright © 2026 by Sheryle Cruse

 

Beyond Scripture To Him

When we think of Yahshua, Our Savior, we often think of a Loving Shepherd, beckoning us to return to Him, as a flock of sheep, responding to their Guardian’s call.

“On The Way,” by Hink Hinkle

The Shepherd Calling the Sheep

So, Matthew 11 is quite familiar to us…

“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”
Matthew 11:28-29

How many times have we heard this passage? In prayer? At altar calls? In sermons? In Bible studies?

It is ubiquitous.

It’s the comforting rallying cry, especially if/ when we are weary spiritually, or, at the very least, sleep-deprived…

Scripture, to most of us out there, is regarded as something powerful.

Wise.

Life-giving.

We, again, can all nod our heads at Isaiah 55:9-11:

“For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts. As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.”

We believe The Word. We accept that it works. Scripture is a must-have.

Okay, so now I’m gonna go somewhere a bit out there.

Please don’t come for me, with lit torches, calling me a heretic…

I have been reading Scripture for decades. This is not to get a Brownie Button.

My tour of duty as a Girl Scout has beaucoup badges on it. Thanks. I’m set.

We hear, over and over again, that, in reading Scripture, we can come across the same passage repeatedly, and it doesn’t affect us.

And then, one day, Whammo!

Rhema Word. Angel Choir. Lightning and Thunder.

It hits. It just hits.

Well, I had that happen to me a few months ago, “while reading The Bible.”

And the attention-grabbing thing about this Scripture, in particular?

It mentioned Scripture.

How’s that for a mind tilt?

But more than that, it also mentioned Yahshua.

Our Savior. Our Shepherd.

I don’t think this Scripture gets “as much press” as that of Matthew 11:28-29.

But I think it should.

In my opinion, they should be “companion scriptures,” studied and reflected on together.

You cannot have one Truth without its Twin Truth?

Okay, I know. I am keeping you in suspense.

So, what is this scripture?

Behold…

“You search the Scriptures, for in them you think you have eternal life; and these are they which testify of Me. But you are not willing to come to Me that you may have life.”
John 5:39-40

Whammo!

See what I mean?

Okay, for fun and edification, just humor me. Let’s Twin these scriptures and see what comes up.

“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”
Matthew 11:28-29

“You search the Scriptures, for in them you think you have eternal life; and these are they which testify of Me. But you are not willing to come to Me that you may have life.”
John 5:39-40

See anything here?

Hmmm.

What popped up for me was yet another Scripture. It is probably in the mid-range, or “semi-famous” category of well-known Scriptures…

“And when you pray, do not use vain repetitions as the heathen do. For they think that they will be heard for their many words.”

Matthew 6:7

Uh…OUCH!

That was a little of some of what I felt. Convicted, maybe?

Yeah, I know Scripture is real, alive, powerful. I know it accomplishes much.

We are told that The Most High IS something powerful, connected to His Name and His Word…

“I will worship toward Thy holy temple, and praise Thy Name for Thy lovingkindness and for Thy Truth: for Thou hast magnified Thy Word above all Thy Name.”

Psalm 138:2

“If we are unfaithful, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Who He is.”

2 Timothy 2:13

So, what’s the sticking point, then?

Yahshua is MORE than THE WORD.

And yes, He Is that.

“these are which testify of me.”

Scripture testifies. Yes, it does.

But He Is a real Individual.

He took on the human being suit, walking around in it, so that He could experience empathy at our humanness.

He is Deity. All powerful.

But humanity?

Well, that required acknowledgement of weakness, frailty, vulnerability… NEED.

Human beings are helpless, needy, and sometimes, stupid sheep.

There is a reason we are referred to as that animal and not a sexy, sleek Jaguar, for instance.

Yeah.

We don’t have it together. We need a Shepherd.

Cue The Shepherd, then… and His “Come to me” call.

“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”
Matthew 11:28-29

Scripture is wonderful, in its testifying of our Savior/Shepherd.

But it should never be the “vain imagination” we take for granted, replacing real acceptance, real acknowledgement, and real relationship WITH THE REAL INDIVIDUAL OF YAHSHUA.

(“Shouty Caps,” there, so you know I’m fired up about this).

And, yeah, I’m convicted, too.

After all…

“…But you are not willing to come to Me that you may have life.”

This speaks to more than just a one-time altar call.

This is about consistent relationship, day after day.
Do we “Come to Him, that we may have life?”

DO WE?

Think about it. When was the last time you truly did that?

I’m not picking on you. I fall short here… a lot.

I do not come to Him and receive life as often as I should.

Call it being in a rush…

Feeling inconvenienced…

Just not feeling it…

Or leaning too much on a “vain imagination” of a quick Bible verse, and then I am on to something that I feel is REALLY important.

Yeah.

Abba. Yahshua.

(John 10:30)…

Forgive me.

Let’s face it. We all need a lot of help in the “Coming to Him” department.

No one has a lock on it.

We all fall short.

So, let’s pray for help in this area.

I need it. How about you?

ABBA-

I come to You, in The Name of Yahshua, My Savior.

I admit it. I do not always “come to Him, to have life.”

Father, Forgive me.

I can come up with all kinds of excuses and reasons.

None of these things carry weight in eternity.

I need Your Help, to truly, constantly, “Come to Him.”

Yahshua.

Thank You for having Him die for me.

I’m having trouble, right now, living for Him the way You desire me to live.

Forgive me and help me.

I come, therefore, not just to the Scriptures that testify of Him, but to Him directly, honestly, right now.

I know that I cannot hide from You. You know all. You know everything about me.

Help me, then, to truly hear, seek, and come to Him constantly.

Thank You.

I believe You will help me to love, live for, and be intimately connected with Your Beloved Son.

I receive it all, by faith, now.

In The Name of Yahshua,

Amen.

Copyright © 2026 by Sheryle Cruse

 

Good Meal or Bad Meal?

I have mixed feelings about an image making the rounds on social networking sites. It’s a split screen of a hamburger and fries on one side and a salad on the other.

It reads as follows:

“One ‘bad’ meal won’t make you fat...Just like one ‘good’ meal won’t make you skinny.”

As a person in eating disorder recovery, my antenna goes up whenever I come across images/messages which portray a kind of “half- truth.” I believe this image is, indeed, one such message. Yes, logically, we know one serving of junk food will not make us weigh 1,000 pounds. Likewise, eating a salad will not transform us into some perfect being. Both are not realistic. But, this statement, while possessing this “half-truth,” still, however, contains its bottom-line message: the certain desired image is a thin body.

To me, it smacks of a backhanded compliment. I remember once, when I was twenty-two years old, my younger roommate (age nineteen) once told me, “You’re not that old.”

 (Those of you older than twenty-two, please feel free to chuckle here).

But I feel this good meal/bad meal sentiment is like that. It TRIES to make us feel better, to soothe fears, to help. However, the main message still contains a judgment in it, saying, “even if you eat, the worst possible thing in the world (being fat) won’t happen to you.”

It’s the judge-y food equivalent to “The Wizard of Oz” Glinda-to-Dorothy question mark, “Are you a good witch or a bad witch?”

 But the value placed on thinness and the fear of fat are still there.

It’s complicated, isn’t it? I mean, c’mon, let’s face it, since the beginning, there have been food issues going on. Ever hear of Adam and Eve?

“And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.”

Genesis 3:6

Yeah. It’s about desire; it’s about fulfilled need. It’s about something which “looks good.”

But is it? And is it supposed to be that estimation to us?

That’s where much of the issue lies right? We subscribe more value to food than it warrants.

“Is not life more than food?”

Yahshua, in Matthew 6:25

In its basic purpose, it keeps us alive. It doesn’t love us, comfort us, punish us or rescue us. It keeps us living.

And, ideally, from the wide variety of choices out there, food is designed to keep us healthy. Vitamins, minerals, nutrients, protein, carbohydrates and fats are a part of that process.

But where do we usually place our focus? On the calories, right? Enter the “good food/bad food” principle. And each one of us has a definition that falls under those headings, right?

Salads and vegetables usually fall under the “good” heading; ice cream and cookies usually comprise the “bad.”

But, while, yes, there are healthy and not so healthy choices out there, food does not have the power we believe it has. It’s a resource, a tool, a vehicle, something to be used for its INTENDED purpose. When it isn’t, however, that’s when eating disorders and unhealthy views/expectations come in, creating chaos and harm.

And we often don’t see it, gradually believing food/diet lies we’ve been exposed to over many years.

“For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice: but what I hate, that I do.”

The Apostle Paul in Romans 7:15

And then, “all of a sudden,” we are astonished because we have issues and/or eating disorders? We don’t understand, exactly, just how we arrived to this place of pain and confusion. But, nevertheless, here we are.

But we miss some major points. First, The Almighty created food, for us:

“Who giveth food to all flesh...”

Psalms 136:25

More specifically, He takes care of our needs:

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?  Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how (YAH) God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.

Matthew 6:25-32

The Most High isn’t anti-food; He knows we need it. Food is not a sin to Him. Wrong attitudes, however, are. It’s not because He wants to punish us; He doesn’t want us hurt by lies. And isn’t that what diets, “good and bad foods” are: lies?

So, what’s a more “Holy, Healthy” view of food? How about the following scriptures?

“All things are lawful for me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but all things edify not.”

1 Corinthians 10:23

“All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.”

1 Corinthians 6:12

“And having food and raiment let us be therewith content.”

1 Timothy 6:8

He’s not hung up on whether we eat a candy bar or a salad. He wants us to be healthy and happy. And He wants us focused on HIM, more than the food of the moment. Yes, that can be a challenge, especially if the food issue has been an all-consuming one in our lives.

But here’s where Psalms 136:25, once again, gives us hope:

“Who giveth food to all flesh: for his mercy endureth forever.”

Did you catch that second part?

“…for his mercy endureth forever.”

We’re not in control; He is. And He is not intimidated with our bodies, our functions and our responses to food. He knows how to handle us. He knows our needs, including our needs for His love, wisdom and mercy in our lives.

 Let’s trust that, then, instead of our “good/bad food” thoughts!

Copyright © 2026 by Sheryle Cruse

 

 

Two For One

“I and The Father are ONE.”

John 10:30

Back when I was in college, I took a photography class. Yep, me, the one who constantly has her thumb featured in every shot.

What do we think we see, as we look through a lens?

Camera or no camera, we see something.

Is it an optical illusion? Is it Truth?

“For as he thinks in his heart, so is he...”

Proverbs 23:7

We are familiar with the sales tactic: two for the price of one.

We are supposed to get all giddy about that.

What is better than one of something, after all?

How about two?

The only possible drawback, perhaps?

Where do we put the extra stuff? We only have so much room here.

(And we already have had to deal with our hoarding ways).

“For as he thinks in his heart, so is he...”

Proverbs 23:7

With overwhelming issues, it all comes down to our hearts, doesn’t it? What’s in them? What has damaged them? What has influenced them?

“For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.”

Matthew 6:21; Luke 12:34

Therefore, it can be difficult to see one thing as it is, let alone, two things.

Indeed, with so much emphasis on the outward appearance, our inner issues, those demanding, even oppressive drives, can become pushed down, if not ignored altogether. It’s too scary, too painful to address and deal with.  But doing that kind of suppressing and ignoring cannot lead to healing; it can only promote festering.

“Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me and lead me in the way everlasting.”

Psalms 139:23-24

This brings me back to the optical illusion.

Years ago, these two examples were making the rounds on social media.

It was like a Rorschach test. You know. Blots of ink on a page. We are usually in some therapist or counselor’s office, presented with the inkiness.

“What do you see?”

And, depending upon our answer, a decision, a treatment, sometimes a drug was administered. We might be labelled as “emotionally unstable.” We might be labelled as “Dangerous to self or to others.” Maybe, we would be labelled as “normal.”

Maybe.

The two optical illusion tests I saw the most, making the social media rounds, were these.

The first asked:

“What do you see? A rabbit, or a duck?”

Is the image a set of bunny ears, or a beak? Is it a bunny’s eye, or a duck’s eye?

Personally, I see the bunny. Not far from the “eye,” I see what looks like a cute little wiggly bunny nose.

I love little twitchy bunny noses…

I have no idea what it means that I see the bunny, instead of the duck.

Does one result denote a great person, while the other denotes Hannibal Lector?

Unclear. I’m sure there is a matching personality test result out there somewhere for this particular optical illusion.

Moving on to the second one, popular on social media…

This one asks:

“What do you see: the young woman, or the old woman?”

Here is where we can really get into some life perspective stuff. Fears/obsessions with beauty and aging.

Without spoiling it for you too much, what facial features prominently stand out when you look at the image? Is one facial feature what it appears to be?

What about her “eye?” Where is it placed?

The Most High, Himself, takes viewpoints, heavily influenced by our hearts, into consideration.

He knows what’s REALLY going on with them.

And it goes beyond any so-called image.

“‘…For (Elohim) the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but (Elohim) the Lord looks on the heart.’”

1 Samuel 16:7

Our hearts are so important to Him, so vulnerable, He tells us to guard them…

“Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.”

Proverbs 4:23

He wants us healed, healthy, and prospering; He wants to bless us…

“Beloved, I wish above all things that you may prosper and be in health, even as your soul prospers.”

3 John 1:2

And that leads me back to His Loving, Brilliant, Incomprehensible-to-the-finite-human-mind Nature and Vision.

It goes beyond ink blot tests, bunnies, ducks, young and old women pictures.

“Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in The Most High, believe also in Me.”

John 14:1

Yahshua.

The Ultimate Optical Illusion?

The Ultimate “Two For One?”

“I and The Father are ONE.”

John 10:30

Now, maybe you’re like me. A little on the fussy and analytical side?

Always picking something apart, trying to figure out, “What does it all mean?”

I have been known to get a little stressed out, in fact, trying to ascertain the two- as- one kind of reality.

I have often, in prayer, uttered the question, at least silently, in my mind…

“Now WHO am I talking to, here?”

Come on. You know you might think that same thing.

Which ONE? Father? Son?

And please don’t get me started on The Holy Spirit!

That’s another epic level of mystery to delve into another time.

As far as Father/Son stuff goes, well, in my finite little mind, I return, again, to the optical illusions.

But, for the purposes of keeping things within the human realm, let’s just concentrate on the young woman/old woman image.

Which woman is in the image?

Both.

This is not to start any kind of back-alley fight about being right or wrong.

Both ladies are there.

It’s the personal vantage point we possess, in terms of which one comes across as stronger.

It’s not about a nose here, a chin there, and, apparently, the big question about how her coat is wrapped around her.

Again, maybe, when we are younger, we identify with and see more of the younger woman.

Maybe, as we age, we see the older version.

Let’s get back to Father and Son.

For me, personally, I have gone through phases when ONE over The Other was more resonate with me. I don’t think I was in spiritual jeopardy coming from that place .

He knows our thoughts, all of them, from afar, anyway (Psalm 139:2).

Thirty years ago, when I had my rededication experience, it was highly featuring The Son: The Savior.

I wrote His Name everywhere in My journals. He was the focal point for me.

And, yeah, within good reason…

“….I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.”

John 14:6

Scripture translations differ a bit here. He’s referred to as “The Door” (John 10:9), and as “The Gate.”

“So He explained it to them: ‘I tell you the truth, I am The Gate for the sheep.’”

John 10:7

No matter what, however, one thing remains: He is the Entry Point.

And, because He experienced our humanness, He Is Also a Peer.

That Image of The Father/Son picture stood out more. Probably because it NEEDED to.

And then, as life and my faith rolled out further, things shifted more for me.

Having a plethora of “Daddy Issues,” having come from abuse. Not having a healthy, loving relationship with my dad, I started paying more attention to The Father.

Specifically, “Abba,” the Hebrew word for “Daddy.”

I wanted to be “Daddy’s Girl.”

It’s a complicated trek I am still on to this day. I don’t want to mislead you.

But there are times when I want to be “Fathered” or “Daddy-d.”

So, my prayer focus centered more on “The Daddy” aspect of things. I don’t think I’m disrespecting Yahshua. He’s helping me connect more to The Father.

That’s Who He is, and the Entire Reason He lived and died for us and our sinful natures.

Yes, we have, after all, Yahshua, Who’s constantly on our side, pleading our case.  

We need Him to do that.

“Who is He that condemneth? It is (Yahshua Ha-Mashiach) Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, Who is even at the right hand of (The Most High) God, who also maketh intercession for us.”

Romans 8:34

It takes an adjustment, a shift in our thinking. It takes a redirected focus. What are we focusing on?

It takes a first step, even despite our freaked-out fears.

I have, imperfectly, over the years, become more accepting and comfortable with the mystery peace that can encompass the equally mysterious Duality of “Father/Son…”

“Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”

John 14:27

The Father and The Son are not an optical illusion. They are united in love for us.

A love that is beyond our explanations, beyond what we can see.

Nevertheless, The Divine WANTS us to see it, and, by faith, embark on relationship with Who They are.

Father.

Son.

Two For One.

Let’s pray.

ABBA-

I come to You, in The Name of Your Son, My Savior, The Door And The Gate for us all.

You know how I long to be connected with “You Both.”

I long to experience the reality of John 10:30.

Help me to love, to connect, to know, and to understand You “Both” fully.

It’s a mystery beyond my human mind. Forgive and help me as I struggle and doubt.

Forgive me for not seeing and loving You correctly.

Reveal Yourself to me in real ways, Loving ways.

Help me to be united with Who You are.

Thank You.

I don’t understand it all, but I, by faith, accept You, fully taking charge of my life now.

In The Name of Yahshua.

Amen.

Copyright © 2026 by Sheryle Cruse

 

It’s Not Just the Diagnosed Who Could Be Dying (Cancerventures Book Excerpt)

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”
Matthew 5:4

It’s Not Just the Diagnosed Who Could Be Dying (Cancerventures Book Excerpt)

…It’s Not Just the Diagnosed Who Could Be Dying:

It’s cruel. Just because we get a cancer diagnosis, does not mean we are exempt from anyone else getting sick and dying. It’s especially painful if we have a beloved pet who has gotten us through the hard stuff of surgery, chemo, radiation. We should not have to face losing our treasured animals when we’ve already had to lose so much already. 

But, as we all know, life is not fair. And, unfortunately, the medical care of our animals is expensive. We cannot just throw unlimited amounts of money at attempts to keep our pets alive, even as we desperately declare that we’d do anything to save them. Reality has its limits.  

Please don’t blame yourself for “not being able to do enough.” This goes beyond your will; it speaks to capacity. And sometimes, we just don’t have it.  

MN Pets:  

So, with no signs of improvement, I called a local in-home euthanasia service, MN Pets. As I started the phone conversation, I broke down mid-sentence as I requested information. A comforting voice from Margie*, uttered things like, “I’m sorry;” “this is so difficult;” and “it sounds like you’re doing everything you can.”  

Through sobs, I asked for definite signs to know “when it’s time.” And Margie informed me of the Journey Assessment, authored by Dr. Katie Hilst, DVM.  

https://journeyspet.com

Used with permission.  

This assessment rates mobility, pain, respiration, hygiene, eating and drinking and the social ability issues of your pet.

I also asked about any benevolence funds, disclosing my cancer diagnosis.  

Margie informed me of their Buddy Fund. She’d speak to her supervisor, explaining my situation. I could expect a callback.  

Ten minutes later, the phone rang. We did qualify. MN Pets would cover most of the expense- for both the in-home euthanasia and her ashes. We’d just need to pay seventy-five dollars. 

Since euthanasia alone can go well into the hundreds of dollars, this was a much-needed help.  

I didn’t arrange things then and there. I needed to check out the Journey assessment. 

We were still waiting- and hoping- Gracie would get better. I told Margie we’d be in touch.  And, as we ended the call, she uttered, “Take good care…”

Amazon.com: Cancerventures: Tales of a Diagnosed Woman eBook : Cruse, Sheryle: Kindle Store

Copyright © 2026 by Sheryle Cruse

 

 

IF You Know? Introduction

If You Know?: Cruse, Sheryle: 9798272042019: Amazon.com: Books

The God Complex- (Cancerventures Book Excerpt)

“I am (Elohim)the LORD; there is no other (Most High) God. I have equipped you for battle...”

Isaiah 45:5

The God Complex- (Cancerventures Book Excerpt)

…The God Complex- Do as I Say:  

My personal take, based on my experiences? The higher and greater the degree of specialty, the more likely a chance for an infallible ego to exist.  

Surgeons, especially, have gotten the distinction of possessing this “God complex.” They feel they hold life and death in their hands; they often believe their way should be the only way. One small detail, however: the patient. The human, complicated and unique patient.  

Doctors, in my opinion, can often get tunnel vision about data and results. A doctor can, therefore, possibly place less of his/her priority on the patient’s psyche and life- apart from cancer.  

And, as I have experienced numerous times, they don’t like being questioned or challenged.  

But, again, this is your life, your body, your experience with cancer. It is most personal. 

And it is your choice. You’re going to live with what happens in and to you, not your doctor.  

So, I don’t minimize the validity of a patient’s decision, even if it goes against the tide. 

No, I am not the poster girl for survivorship and treating cancer in the “right way” (not that there is a “right way” in the first place).  

Rather, I’m more interested in being the heard, diagnosed person. Call me delusional, impossible, unrealistic, or even suicidal. I see it as making the choices that are right for me, prayerfully, carefully, thoughtfully. But I still get to make my choice. 

And these are all reasons why I’m not best friends with my surgeon.  

But, hey, the world didn’t end. 

Copyright © 2026 by Sheryle Cruse

 

Thin Enough Reintroduced