The Art of the Ask

Perhaps, it’s because I’m an only child.

You are familiar with the reputation we have: “spoiled brats.”

But I have been notorious for asking.

Asking a lot of questions, asking for several things in prayers.

As reverent and noble as I would like to be, I mean, come on, a lot of my prayers are about “gimme.”

Telling on myself; check out my warts.

Anyway, I have a tricky relationship with this scripture…

“You lust and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and war. Yet you do not have because you do not ask.”

James 4:2

A famous translation of this verse states:

“You have not, because you ask not.”

This appears to be encouraging to us, encouraging us to ask.

And that is great for all of us who consider ourselves to be in the “gimme, gimme, my name is Jimmy” crowd.

(Or “James,” if you’re fancy).

At face value, it, yes, has been tempting and easy to run with the bull, amuck and full-on asking, asking, asking.

However…

(Did I hear a loud groan?)

However…

The next verse has more life lesson/cautionary tale stuff added to it.

You know, not the “fun stuff.”

“You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures.”

James 4:3

Eh, who feels great about themselves now, huh?

“Asking amiss.”

Instant gratification.

Ulterior motives.

Selfishness.

Pleasure.

“Gimme.”

I, yeah, could probably write several books on how I do that.

But, for now, I will refer to one of the books I HAVE written: “Cancerventures: Tales of a Diagnosed Woman.”

Not just a shameless plug, but to approach “the ask,” the “art of the ask,” from an advocacy perspective.

Once diagnosed with something like cancer, hate to break it to ya, but you will need to be your own advocate, at least in the natural, imperfect world.

Please let me mention that we have an ULTIMATE Advocate…

“My dear children, I am writing this to you so that you will not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an Advocate who pleads our case before the Father. He is (Yahshua Ha-Mashiach) Jesus Christ, the One who is truly righteous.”

1 John 2:1

Yep, Yahshua.

He’s always there, always making intercession for us.

Probably because we are always needing it.

We are a bunch of simple sheep, getting things stuck in our hooves all the time.

I’m digressing a bit, and it’s great digressing.

Yahshua.

He’s “The Point.”

Nevertheless, back to asking, being our diagnosed advocates…

 

(Book Excerpt from “Cancerventures: Tales of a Diagnosed Woman”)…

…Just Ask:  

First, a tip about the lab, the place where all dreaded blood draws are done.  

In a conversation with Joy a couple of weeks before my appointment, I asked if it were possible to have a certain nurse draw my blood for this scary CA 27.29 test.  

Yes, it is! The art of the ask!  

So, I requested that a note be made in my chart, summoning my angel nurse of butterfly needles to do those early 7:30 a.m. honors. 

This angel gets it on the first stick. A 25- gauge butterfly needle (because of my teeny, squirmy veins), administered to the top of my left hand, in the vein right above my wrist bone, and voilà! In and out, little pain, no pin cushion. 

But I initially thought this request of mine was too fussy, even by my standards.  

(In a British accent) “Yes, Alfred, please bring me my personal bloodwork nurse. Have her meet me on the terrace.” 

But no, clinics do comply with such a request. 

The lesson here: when, in doubt, ask. Just ask. You never know what is possible. Maybe you could get your preferred individual instead of being at the mercy of a potential hatchet person. Just ask…”

It’s about asking for and using discernment.

Straddling the line between selfish “gimme asking,” and coming to Him, with all our requests, understanding our less-than-wonderful reasons behind them.

“You lust and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and war. Yet you do not have because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures.”

James 4:2-3

But good news! He knows all about them anyway. He is not thrown off or blindsided.

He’s in control.

Let’s ask, then, and trust Him to be so.

Especially with something as serious as “a diagnosis.”

Ask HIM FIRST, and then, go from there.

How about that?

Let’s pray. 

ABBA FATHER-

I come to You, in The Name of Your Son, My Savior, Yahshua.

You know what I have been asking for: silently, quietly, loudly, even destructively.

Forgive me and help me.

You know that in so much of my life, I have asked but I have not received what I have asked for.

You know how that has damaged my trust and faith.

You also know that I have not asked for things, especially from You. I have not asked for things, because I did not know I could or should ask You for them. I have not asked You for things, because I did not believe You would give me what I asked for.

Either way, forgive me.

I ask You, right now, revealing my heartbeat. Maybe I do not even know what I am asking for.

Maybe I have not asked You at all, let alone, “as I should.”

I need so much of Your Help and Your Forgiveness.

I ask You for THIS HELP, IF NOTHING ELSE, right now.

Help me to have the courage, and the right heart and spirit, to come to You, and ask You.

You already know my yearnings and my needs.

Help me as only You can.

Thank You.

I receive it, as best as I can, right now, by faith.

In Yahshua’s Name, I pray,

Amen.

Copyright © 2026 by Sheryle Cruse