Amputated/Also Known As “Pruned”

“He cuts off every branch of mine that doesn’t produce fruit, and he prunes the branches that do bear fruit so they will produce even more.”

John 15:2

I recently stubbed my right pinky toe. It is bruised.

This may not seem all that noteworthy. But I deal with a diagnosis, known as Peripheral Arterial Disease. It has to do with wonky blood flow, especially to the extremities, like my toes.

It is highly cautioned to protect one’s feet.

In its most advanced case, especially concerning injuries, amputation, unfortunately, can result.

So, me being me, I have been thinking about amputation.

I am a rather fussy Chicken Little. I admit it.

Weirdly, amputation has been a bit of a theme in my life.

First, I mentioned a study done of children, in my first book, “Thin Enough.”

“…The old saying is true: ‘Kids can be cruel.’ Getting picked last for games, snickering, name-calling, and the shunning were all part of my daily routine.

I once heard about a study of young children. They were asked a question: ‘If you could choose either an overweight person to be your friend or a person who’s missing an arm or a leg, which would you choose?’ The kids in the study all chose the missing limbed candidate. Fat, according to the kids then, was unacceptable to be around and befriend.

I came home from school each day and eased my pain with a stack of Oreo cookies, peanut butter and pickle sandwiches, potato chips and milk. I could feel better with my ‘true friends...’”

(Excerpt from “Thin Enough: My Spiritual Journey Through the Living Death of an Eating Disorder”)

Yeah, Selah.

 (Pause and think about THAT)!

Amputation wasn’t just discussed then and there. Oh no!

Years later, it hit my life more directly. In 2017, I was diagnosed with breast cancer.

And, after tests, procedures, prayers, stressing, and crying, I decided to opt to have a bilateral mastectomy.

I decided to amputate my breasts.

Amputation. I don’t think that word is overkill when it comes to my breasts.

Its definition?

“the action of surgically cutting off a limb.”

Well, breasts aren’t regarded as limbs, per se.

But breasts are body parts. Body parts removed from the body…through surgery.

Therefore…

Amputation.

And it’s not just an event, a surgery, or a procedure. It’s a gradual process of letting go, of grieving. Of shedding.

…From the time I received my surgery date, to the actual event itself, I was in preparation mode.  

I was acutely aware of the countdown clock. It’s a certain number of showers I have left with my breasts. It’s a certain number of times I have left exercising with my breasts. It’s a certain number of times left I would wear my bras. 

As a larger busted female, I had a complicated view of brassieres. I tried to find the most feminine ones I could wear- black, lace and animal prints, mostly. These undergarments were necessary to be considered a fully dressed woman. But, once home, I took them off as soon as I could. For, no matter how racy or pretty or delicate they appeared, my bras were still uncomfortable. (Sometimes, I even unhooked them while I was still in the car). 

But now, with my mastectomy countdown clock, there was added poignancy. It was a mourning process. Each day that passed, I was ever aware, as I chose, put on, hooked myself into, wore and took off each bra. I was mindful I was running out of bras and days…

…I took my last shower, using the Dial antibacterial soap. I paid attention to the feel of my breasts connected to my body. It was more than just their weight; it was the feeling of them being attached to me. I’d taken it for granted my entire life. I complained about it. But now, I had precious few hours left of this experience. I had no clue what I’d feel physically from here on out. I was trying to take as many mental snapshots as I could…

(Cancerventures Book Excerpt)

The surgery itself may be radical cutting off body parts. But its reality is one of personal reflection.

Spiritual in nature. It tests faith.

And that leads me to circa now.

Spiritual is the foundation of everything in my life.

Faith. Struggles with it.

Challenges.

Amputation comes up again, and not just because of my fussy fears concerning my stubbed, bruised pinky toe.

“He cuts off every branch of mine that doesn’t produce fruit, and he prunes the branches that do bear fruit so they will produce even more.”

John 15:2

“Pruning,” it can be argued, is “spiritual amputation.”

I am living within this space heavily now.

Not just because of my toe, “P.A.D.” or even the start of a brand-new year, but because there is a stripping going on right now.

It’s personal and global. Micro and macro.

Can/do you feel it in your own life?

Scripture states this about Yahshua, Our Savior, and The Most High, Our Father (see John 10:30, for their Oneness) …

“I am the true vine, and My Father is the keeper of the vineyard.”

John 15:1

Yahshua, Our Savior, is the point.

His Name, in Hebrew, means “YAH is Rescue” or “YAH is Salvation.”

(Go look it up. What is Hebrew for “Rescue?”).

He connects us to The Father, the Great Most High, for all eternity.

That sounds to me like an important Vine.

And, of course, Scripture goes on to say…

“He cuts off every branch of mine that doesn’t produce fruit, and He prunes the branches that do bear fruit so they will produce even more.”

John 15:2

Pruning. Amputation of the highest order.

And it HURTS!!!!

Man alive, does it hurt!

I don’t know much about gardening. I have killed too many Chia Pets I have gotten as Christmas gifts.

(Just why?)

But the intimidating shears are not a joke.

It’s not a gentle bit of self-care, like tweezing eyebrows.

This is surgery level removal.

It’s not subtle. It targets the branches that may look “fine.”

Maybe even “good.”

Maybe even “necessary” or “helpful.”

Maybe even branches that we insist on saying, “Hey, I NEED THAT!”

That is especially what makes this spiritual amputation so painful.

We argue that we are not done with something yet.

We think we make a great case.

We think that we can persuade.

Except…

SNIP!

And it’s a loud, final snip, isn’t it?

The branch will not grow back as it once existed.

Gone.

So, what are some branches, posed for the shears?

Relationships

Careers

Habits

Addictions

Hobbies

SINS!

(Most of the time, these branches, in one way or another, are things we do not want to give up).

But The Vine says otherwise.

Why does The Vine say otherwise?

“He cuts off every branch of mine that doesn’t produce fruit, and He prunes the branches that do bear fruit so they will produce even more.”

John 15:2

To produce even more.

Life audit: how productive or stagnant are we right now?

What’s going on in our lives that is not producing what it should?

Hard, painful questions to ask and answer.

And these questions, to paraphrase Ecclesiastes, “happen to us all” (Ecclesiastes 9:11).

Like death.

And, like death, there is grief in The Pruning Process.

Scripture declares that He comforts all who mourn (Matthew 5:4).

That’s not just concerning an actual death and funeral situation.

He comforts us is our afflictions, our losses, our pain…

Our pruning.

He doesn’t just cut us and leaving us bleeding out.

He’s there.

“I will never leave you or forsake you.”

Hebrews 13:5

Because one of the greatest ways more fruit is produced in and through a closer, deeper relationship with Him.

I know. It all sounds cliché.

Reality, though, is far more powerful than human explanation.

So, what do we do? Where do we go from here?

First: accept pruning will happen.

Our Savior’s ultimate pruning was The Cross. Dying for Mankind.

“A disciple is not above his teacher, nor a servant above his master.”

Matthew 10:24

“Remember the word that I said to you, ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted Me, they will also persecute you. If they kept My word, they will keep yours also.”

John 15:20

“A disciple is not above his teacher, but everyone who is perfectly trained will be like his teacher.”

Luke 6:40

Next: Stop struggling and fighting against it.

This is where most of us get tripped up. I camp out at this place A LOT.

MANY TEARS. ALL REAL.

THE STRUGGLE IS REAL.

And so is this Scripture…

“Not My Will, but Thy Will be done.”

Luke 22:42

Do we say that? Pray that? Mean that?

He wants more for us; He wants us to more fully experience His Love.

And, yeah, to do that, some things gotta go.

Not easy.

So, let’s pray.

 

ABBA-

I come to You, in The Name of Yahshua, My Savior.

You know what’s happening with me and within me right now.

You know the depth of my pain.

How much of it is because of change?

Your Change?

Your Pruning, at work in me?

Forgive me for my sins, especially my willfulness that resists You and Your Changes for me.

You know I struggle here.

Help me. Heal me, even as You change things in my life.

Help me to let go of whatever it is that I need to release.

You want me to bear more fruit in You and be more blessed.

I need so much help with this process.

Lead me, guide, anoint, favor, and have mercy on me as this all takes place.

Thank You for loving me.

This Pruning, while painful, is evidence that You do.

You love me too much to leave me how I am.

By faith, I agree with Your Word, which states that I am going from Glory To Glory (2 Corinthians 3:18).

Help me to glorify You.

I place my spirit, my life, my desires, my plans, my heart, and my future in Your Loving Hands.

I pray this in The Name of Yahshua,

Amen.

Copyright © 2026 by Sheryle Cruse