The Sixth Letter- “Frustration When (If EVER?)” (“Hello, Gentlemen…” Book Excerpt)
Hello, Gentlemen.
It’s me again. Sheryle.
How frustrated are you right now?
It’s a big challenge for me. I was just wondering what it’s like for you.
Frustration in a part of anger.
It deals with being denied something when you want it.
It deals with the resentment that comes by seeing others seemingly possess what you want.
It deals with the injustice you face currently and have faced in the past.
And you have faced injustices. Plural. More than one. Often.
Probably, too often.
Here’s a “Mommy Issue” memory from me.
When I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I was also my mother’s adult daughter caregiver. She was in a care facility at the time. My husband and I would try to see her as often as we could.
That became more difficult when I was dealing with my surgery and radiation effects.
It was not conducive to being in a car for the four hours it took to see her and return home. Even with me stretched out in the backseat.
Around Mother’s Day (Nothing like a pressure cooker day for a “Mommy Issue”), we tried to see her on that Sunday. I just could not hack it; I was depleted, uncomfortable, in too much pain.
So, we let her know we couldn’t see her, as she expected.
And this was her response:
“That’s okay. I’m used to being disappointed.”
Yeah.
Knife inserted into the heart, and twisted clockwise, then counterclockwise.
It should be mentioned, and will probably be no surprise to you, that Mom had a miserable, disappointing life. She was abused and stifled.
And when she had a stroke that took away her ability to walk, and placed her in the care facility, she had lost so much hope for “better.”
She was frustrated.
That was in her “disappointment.”
“Dis- appoint.”
Let’s break down the word.
“Dis- appoint.”
“Dis” means “the opposite of,” “The reverse,” “Not.”
And “appoint?” As in appointment?
So, you put those two suckers together and you get…
“Not an appointment.”
“The reverse, or the opposite of an appointment.”
The appointment concerning something or someone that you wanted for your life was not met.
Unmet.
Unmet needs.
They beg for attention. Partly, because they are supposed to be what we have.
And they have not happened yet.
Somehow, they have let us down.
But our longing is still there for them. Our hopes. Our dreams. Our plans.
But life does not meet them… or us when we want that meeting to happen.
Frustration…
