Perpetrator and Victim? (“Just Violated?”)
“Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.”
Proverbs 22:6
It can be asserted that every violating perpetrator starts out as a victim.
Human beings learn behavior from somewhere… or from someone.
Generational patterns of different kinds of violations can play themselves out in families.
Secrecy.
Issues involving, but not limited to, spiritual and racial identity issues, anger, and, of course, sexual abuse all can be practiced and taught, from one generation to the next.
Generational patterns.
Generational… curses?
What do you see within your own family structure?
What keeps occurring?
What keeps being silenced?
What keeps hurting others?
“(Just) Violated?” Book Excerpt:
…Rages? Control? Throwing things away that meant something? Threatening him?
Was it all of it like what he practiced on my mother and me?
Sadism? Enjoying a weak person’s fear and pain?
In his child mind, did he decide, in a fear-filled and hurt state, “One day, I’m going to make them afraid of me?”
Revenge. Childhood can, unfortunately, provoke those dreams.
“Generational curses” were perpetuating.
My dad was born in the same house he lived his entire life, apart from a brief stint in the Army, serving in World War II, and then a care facility, shortly before he died. All his siblings, once grown, left the family farm, had marriages, families, and careers of their own.
My dad remained on the farm. He was a bachelor there until his late forties, living with his parents until, they both eventually had health issues and died.
He probably didn’t feel good about that. Especially being alone, with no female to look after his needs.
We see where this is going. It is a behavior. It is a pattern.
Being on that farm, and in that farmhouse for the first time in his life alone must have terrified him. I have mentioned how I saw, firsthand, that he didn’t like being alone. He didn’t like being away from my mother. Or, maybe, more accurately, he did not like her being away from him.
It’s not surprising, therefore, back then, as an alone bachelor, he made it his mission to “wife up.”
Entitled To…
…Perpetuate.
Here we go. It’s actively happening. He is pursuing “a wife.”
He wanted someone to take care of him: to cook, to clean, and to take care of his sexual desires.
So, when he met my mother, he probably saw his opportunity.
Get her!
He, learning his lessons about male-female relationships, felt, therefore empowered and entitled to play by that rulebook.
“Children learn what they live.”
And then, they grow up and perpetuate it on others…
What was it that I was born into? What was it that I endured?
What WAS I “a product of?”
Rape? Abuse? Violence?
(“Just”) Violation?
