No surprise here, the theme is someone dying and some element of deep, abiding and tortuous love. So much fun. Where’s the popcorn? We need popcorn and Junior Mints.
Film doesn’t register nearly as intensely as music does for me in this capacity, but it does register.
It deals with identification, the main goal of any filmmaker telling his/her story. Grab that audience; make them identify with and feel your characters.
Films about love and loss corner the market on that objective.
Since my 2017 diagnosis, music and film are not utilized just so I can make myself cry and feel bad about my circumstances.
No.
Rather, through the filter of the lyricist or the character, I can explore my own cancer realities. What would I do if I were this song’s or film’s particular person?
And it’s not always the dying character, either. It’s also those who are the left behind.
For me, there is a therapeutic value to going to these dramatic resources. Music and film serve as conduits. They trigger and awaken.
Am I a glutton for punishment? Possibly.
But I think it has more to do with processing. I’m tapping into questions, potential realities, and attempting to face my situation. Yes, I often use my imagination (uh-oh) and think about my loved ones. How are they doing? What would their reactions be if/when I died?
But it’s more than that. It is the realization that I may be nowhere near coming to terms with and experiencing all I will go through, concerning cancer. And recognizing, when, not if, we will be separated is frightening.
It’s easier to accept that if death is a lon-n-n-n-g way off. It’s more painful if it’s coming quicker, and without asking for any permission.
I’m trying- and have tried- to have conversations with my loved ones about these film-and-music-inspired mortality thoughts. They run for the hills whenever they can. No, it’s actually just the nearest parking lot. But, not surprisingly, it’s not their favorite subject matter. However, what if we do need to go there? What then?
Right now, I may be facing recurrence. I try not to get ahead of myself there. But mortality thoughts pop up. Life and death. Scripture addresses, soothes, comforts, inspires.
And I’m still fussy me.
The Most High knows all about that.
So, there I am.
With real questions. Real possibilities. Left with not just a song or a movie.
What about you? Do you examine the possibilities, the variety of outcomes? Do you process, face, make meaningful sense of and accept what is happening to you in your life? Where does Faith come in?
Your life is very much an important song, very much an important movie. And you are the diagnosed star.
The Most High will guide you through, and utilize whatever He chooses to reach you, to get your attention, and to help you through.
Let’s pray.
Abba-
I come to You, in The Name of Your Son, My Savior, Yahshua.
You know the thoughts.
You know the reality, as it attempts to convince me of its hopelessness.
And You also know Who You are. You are in control.
Of everything.
Of everything concerning me.
And You know that right now, I feel so out of control.
Help me.
Help me, thought by thought, no matter how scary, painful, intense, dramatic, and hopeless they may be.
Forgive me for thinking that I am too hard for You to deal with.
That’s ego; That’s pride. And it’s untrue.
Just meet me and help me, here and now, for starters.
Help me to walk with You from there.
Thank You for loving me, for being in the middle of my situation.
I receive Your Loving help now, by faith.
Amen.
Copyright © 2026 by Sheryle Cruse
